In 1975, my father had been out of work for a year or two, and my mother had never worked and therefore had no employment options available to her (she was a "stay at home mum"). My mother was born in 1924, so had lived through two world wars and a depression by then, but, with a millionaire family heritage, she had never felt as desperate as she did in '75. I remember when she dropped a bottle of tomato sauce on the lino tiled kitchen floor of our post-war house, and it smashed into tiny pieces. She put her head in her hands and cried and cried. My sister and I watched in disbelief, as our strong and courageous mother had her moment of feeling completely overwhelmed. Then, after she collected herself again, we all knelt down amongst the tiny slivers of glass (they were glass bottles back then) and scooped up the sauce into another jar - we knew there was no money to buy another bottle, so if we wanted sauce for the next few weeks, we would have to make do. I think it was the epitome of poverty for my mum, it was an event that really changed her.
I am my mother's daughter in many ways, and, the other day, while looking at the bills I have due in the next couple of months and wondering how I would be able to afford presents for my kids this Christmas, I exclaimed to my eight year old daughter: "Guess what! This is the last Christmas ever that we will be broke, my darling". And I meant it!
I am a working single parent with two young children, and I am also a Psychologist.
And I have had enough of counting the cost of my groceries at the checkout; I am done with trying to get as much as I can for as little as possible for my kids for Christmas; I am sick of coming home from work at around 6pm then frantically doing housework and cooking dinner so I can try to get my kids into bed before it gets too late; and then spending the rest of the night feeling guilty that I don't spend enough time with my kids. I am tired, and enough is enough. And, I am not alone.
"Financially stressed" is a measure used by the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) as part of their General Social Survey (ABS, 2011, 4159.0). The ABS reported that 19% of all Australian adults lived in a household that had one or more cash flow problems in the previous twelve months. This was greatly influenced by single parent status - 47% of Australian single parent families with dependent children met this criteria, while only 21% of couples with children reported the same result. Additionally, nearly four times as many (41%) Australian adults in one family single parent households with dependent children as those in one family couple households with dependent children, reported that they could not raise $2,000 in an emergency.
This ABS Report also stated that "the reporting of financial stress does not necessarily imply that a household has low income. Some high income households reported financial stressors" (p.1, 2011). So, regardless of your income level, single parent status (with dependent children) quadruples the likelihood that you will experience financial stress.
And financial stress brings with it a lifestyle of poor physical health, an increased rate of suicide, fewer education and career opportunities, high crime, and unhappiness for generation after generation.
There are so many of us out there on our own trying not to cave under the considerable burden of our financial stress, while also undertaking the biggest responsibility of our lives (raising the children of tomorrow). And why are we doing this alone? We learned back in the 60's the amazing power of women working together - it is because of the Feminist Movement of that era that, unlike my mother, I can choose to work or not to work, or to leave work and return when my kids are older. And yet, we have allowed ourselves to become trapped in our lack of wealth creation opportunities, just like we were trapped in our lack of employment opportunities back then. Now is the time when we need each other the most.
So, this, my female friends, is a call to action...another one, not unlike the call of my hippy and feminist sisters 50 years ago. If you want to live the life of your dreams, the life you and your family deserve, a life where you are not reduced to scraping the dropped sauce from the floor, it is now time to turn to your neighbours, your work-mates, your clubbing girlfriends, your family members, the woman beside you on the bus, and ask "how can we work together to create wealth in our lives?" Because, come hell or high water, this is going to be THE LAST CHRISTMAS THAT WE ARE BROKE!
Let the revolution begin!
Leanne Donoghue-Tamplin
Psychologist and Director of Real Success Pty Ltd,
The Psychology of Wealth Creation for Women - helping women create the lives they deserve, http://www.realsuccess.com.au/, P: 1300 650 573
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