5 Must Have Accessories (For Life)

If you are a true "Fashionista", you know the feeling; you're checking yourself out in the mirror. You have the perfect outfit! Your ensemble includes pieces that are in this season and 2 from the past. Your hair is highlighted, layered and bouncing all over the place. Your $50.00 perfectly polished manicure & pedicure makes you feel beautiful from head to toe. You're ready!!! But, wait a minute, something is missing... That's right. Despite the fact that you're "Dressed To The Nines", your entire look can make you a "Fashion Don't" if you don't accessorize. If you're looking to make a fashion statement, make sure you've accessorized. It can make or break your outfit.

Accessorized for Life!!!

Do you know what accessories you better not leave your house without this season? According to the Fashion Elite, here are the 5 must-have Fashion accessories this season, but I want to ask you, how are you accessorizing your life?

Neon Colored Stilettos (Hot Pink, Turquoise Blue or Canary Yellow Be Bold Girl)Fedora Hats (Look Fabulous on a bad hair day!)The Wedge Heel (Short girls love it!)BIG Belts (Cinch in that waist!)Feathered Earrings (Make a statement, doubles as hair accessory)

Don't get me wrong I love them all and you can find them in my closet & jewelry armoire BUT I want to see what's in your wardrobe for life? I thought it was time to take inventory of what's in your accessory bag for chic living. Make a statement and bring out the "Couture YOU"!

Here are the 5 Must Have Accessories (For Life)

1. Thoughts- What you focus on is always mirrored back to you! You have to think about what you want all the time. The minute a negative thought enters your head, change it in a New York minute! Your mind is like a runway, you want positive thoughts sashaying up and down all day!

2. Beliefs- Do you think you have an Ugly Belief System (U.B.S.)? A string of beliefs that don't serve you are like clothes that are not the right size. They will never flatter you. Ugly beliefs never flatter YOU or the work that YOU do. Remember if you don't believe in yourself or your abilities it will remain difficult for others to BELIEVE in you & align with you. Start believing in YOU & what YOU can do. Wearing U.B.S. (not cute)!

3. Words- Are you speaking positively or negatively? Your words are like 6 inch stilettos. Strong, Piercing and Unforgettable! They have a way of holding up, so make sure you say what you truly mean and want in your life!

4. Feelings- Are you happy, excited and walking around in gratitude every season? There's so much doom and gloom in the world right now, take it upon yourself to set a new trend. A positive attitude is contagious, a smile is infectious and when you're feeling great you will do great work, great people will want to be around you and great things will happen to YOU!

5. Actions- Take action, implement and execute! You've heard the saying all talk and no action! Practice what you preach! Walk the talk! It's important to have a "Get it done now, not tomorrow attitude" about everything you do, and distinguish what action steps are right for YOU. Often times, busy work is what we think we should do based on what someone else is doing. Be an original, not a carbon copy. Say to yourself, "I am a Woman of Action"! Make your Life a Limited Edition experience!

Your must have accessories for life, the ones that you can't live (life) without!!!

After spending 10+ years in Hollywood as an Actress/Dancer/Body Double Ungenita Katrina Prevost learned how to Perfect Her Potential?. Today she is the World's First Beauty Empowerment Author & Speaker & named "The Tony Robbins of Beauty". She helps female entrepreneurs bring structure back into their businesses and balance back into their lives by going from "Frazzled To Fabulous", a simple, easy to implement system that gets results, ultimately improving their lives and businesses. http://www.ungenitakatrinaprevost.com/

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5 Professional Tips for Women in the Workplace

Women face both similar and different challenges in the workplace. For that reason, there are some special tips that women should embrace to increase the odds of success. While working women have made great progress in the past three decades landing a higher percentage of highly-coveted management jobs, there are still obstacles on the way to the top. For success, women must approach the workplace in a very calculated manner. Below are some tips for every ambitious female aspiring to greatness.

1. Find a successful mentor who can help you navigate the corporate landscape. Older women who paved the way for the next generation can provide invaluable insights for female professionals who are still learning how to move ahead in the workplace. Some companies have formal mentoring programs, but many do not. Finding a mentor does not have to be a company sanctioned, formal process. Reaching out to a helpful, older female for advice is usually enough to establish the mentor relationship. Women who have "made it" in the corporate world are often eager to share tips with younger women.

2. Dress for success so that business associates will take you seriously. Wearing power colors is key for being noticed. The best suit colors for women are royal blue, emerald green, red and magenta. Buying a style that flatters your body shape always makes fashion sense for the workplace. Stay away from suit jackets that look like your father's. This masculine cut will make you appear frumpy and out of touch. Never wear revealing clothes to work. Jewelry should be tasteful and used as bold accents. Shoes should not be noticeable. Wearing a bit of makeup to enhance your eyes and skin tone is a good idea. Finally, it is important that your hairstyle be fresh and up to date without being too extreme and funky. All of these factors create your image.

3. Take care of yourself and unwind in the evenings and on the weekends. Being well rested and rejuvenated for work will provide the energy you need to excel and compete. Workaholics typically burn out early in the race, losing their perspective and ability to compete.

4. Define success in your own terms, setting definite career goals for yourself. If you don't approach your career with a gameplan, it is impossible to know how to navigate. As obvious as this sounds, you must know where you want to go in order to get there.

5. Assess your strengths and weaknesses as honestly as possible. Don't just focus on your liabilities. Be honest about your assets too, as they will be your guide to the career that best suits your personality and strengths.

Britney Fuller is a writer who enjoys sharing her knowledge and advice with readers. For more on women in the workplace, A Successful Woman offers readers tips for women who desire leadership roles in the workplace.

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Amazing Women to Inspire You

Today your homework simple. Here is a list of women for you to study and admire. Note what you like about each womans' style. Maybe. . . somewhere deep inside you. . . it's a link to your inner Sassy.

A. Catherine the Great: Empress of Russia (June 28, 1762 - November 17, 1796).

Catherine had many achievements. She left Russia stronger, prosperous and beautiful in her reign as Empress. That she failed in much she had set out to do had less to do with her and more to do with human nature. Catherine was unwilling to use terror or force to transform society. She chose a more patient path. Her goal was to gradually raise the level of culture by legislation, education, and example.

What we can learn from Catherine:
1. She kept her voracious appetites throughout her life.
2. Excellent advice: "I like to praise and reward in a loud voice and to scold in a whisper. "
3. A charming conversationalist, writers Diderot and Voltaire jealously vied for the pleasure of her company.
4. Don't believe the nonsense about her death and the horse.

B. Coco Chanel: Fashionista (1883-1971)

What we can learn from Coco:

"It's an unseen, unforgettable, ultimate fashion accessory. It heralds your arrival and prolongs your departure. " Coco Chanel

It's not the dress, the make-up, the bag the shoes. It's your scent. Study Coco, explore the world of fragrance and find your signature scent. That's powerful!

C. Greta Garbo: Swedish actress (1905-1990)

What we can learn from Ms. Garbo:
1. Keep a little mystery. Social networks like Facebook and Twitter allow you to post things about everything you are doing every minute of the day. It will be that much more powerful in our "overly open" society. Just because someone asks you something about yourself doesn't mean you have to tell them. Especially if it is personal information!

2. Garbo had lots of eccentricities. She had layer upon layer which only added to her mystery.

3. Garbo expressed her "kooky self" with no apologies. She would leave a person alone mid-conversation. When asked if she was available for dinner she would respond "How do I know that I'll be hungry that day?"

What women from history inspire you? Are you impressed with Catherine's ability to keep her voracious appetite for life? Chanel and her way with words? How about Garbo and her mysterious ways? There is probably something in them that lives deep within you. Explore and enjoy the discoveries. Enjoy your assignments! Love, Goddess.

Bitch Lifestyle

Why the Bitch Lifestyle?

Words like "Bitch" can be used to make women feel bad. This demeans and is not empowering. Here we take the power back. The Bitch Lifestyle is about celebrating women: our fun, emotions, sensuality, individuality, successes, creativity and our beauty.

Sharon Stevens
goddesspower978@hotmail.com
http://bitchlifestyle.com/

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Enough Is Enough - Why Women Need Wealth

In 1975, my father had been out of work for a year or two, and my mother had never worked and therefore had no employment options available to her (she was a "stay at home mum"). My mother was born in 1924, so had lived through two world wars and a depression by then, but, with a millionaire family heritage, she had never felt as desperate as she did in '75. I remember when she dropped a bottle of tomato sauce on the lino tiled kitchen floor of our post-war house, and it smashed into tiny pieces. She put her head in her hands and cried and cried. My sister and I watched in disbelief, as our strong and courageous mother had her moment of feeling completely overwhelmed. Then, after she collected herself again, we all knelt down amongst the tiny slivers of glass (they were glass bottles back then) and scooped up the sauce into another jar - we knew there was no money to buy another bottle, so if we wanted sauce for the next few weeks, we would have to make do. I think it was the epitome of poverty for my mum, it was an event that really changed her.

I am my mother's daughter in many ways, and, the other day, while looking at the bills I have due in the next couple of months and wondering how I would be able to afford presents for my kids this Christmas, I exclaimed to my eight year old daughter: "Guess what! This is the last Christmas ever that we will be broke, my darling". And I meant it!

I am a working single parent with two young children, and I am also a Psychologist.

And I have had enough of counting the cost of my groceries at the checkout; I am done with trying to get as much as I can for as little as possible for my kids for Christmas; I am sick of coming home from work at around 6pm then frantically doing housework and cooking dinner so I can try to get my kids into bed before it gets too late; and then spending the rest of the night feeling guilty that I don't spend enough time with my kids. I am tired, and enough is enough. And, I am not alone.

"Financially stressed" is a measure used by the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) as part of their General Social Survey (ABS, 2011, 4159.0). The ABS reported that 19% of all Australian adults lived in a household that had one or more cash flow problems in the previous twelve months. This was greatly influenced by single parent status - 47% of Australian single parent families with dependent children met this criteria, while only 21% of couples with children reported the same result. Additionally, nearly four times as many (41%) Australian adults in one family single parent households with dependent children as those in one family couple households with dependent children, reported that they could not raise $2,000 in an emergency.

This ABS Report also stated that "the reporting of financial stress does not necessarily imply that a household has low income. Some high income households reported financial stressors" (p.1, 2011). So, regardless of your income level, single parent status (with dependent children) quadruples the likelihood that you will experience financial stress.

And financial stress brings with it a lifestyle of poor physical health, an increased rate of suicide, fewer education and career opportunities, high crime, and unhappiness for generation after generation.

There are so many of us out there on our own trying not to cave under the considerable burden of our financial stress, while also undertaking the biggest responsibility of our lives (raising the children of tomorrow). And why are we doing this alone? We learned back in the 60's the amazing power of women working together - it is because of the Feminist Movement of that era that, unlike my mother, I can choose to work or not to work, or to leave work and return when my kids are older. And yet, we have allowed ourselves to become trapped in our lack of wealth creation opportunities, just like we were trapped in our lack of employment opportunities back then. Now is the time when we need each other the most.

So, this, my female friends, is a call to action...another one, not unlike the call of my hippy and feminist sisters 50 years ago. If you want to live the life of your dreams, the life you and your family deserve, a life where you are not reduced to scraping the dropped sauce from the floor, it is now time to turn to your neighbours, your work-mates, your clubbing girlfriends, your family members, the woman beside you on the bus, and ask "how can we work together to create wealth in our lives?" Because, come hell or high water, this is going to be THE LAST CHRISTMAS THAT WE ARE BROKE!

Let the revolution begin!

Leanne Donoghue-Tamplin
Psychologist and Director of Real Success Pty Ltd,
The Psychology of Wealth Creation for Women - helping women create the lives they deserve, http://www.realsuccess.com.au/, P: 1300 650 573

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It's About You: The Visionary of a Women's Group

A Visionary is an individual marked by great foresight and imagination. She is a person who desires to create something - something of importance, something that has only existed in one's mind up until now. Does this sound like you? If so, read further.

Can you visualize a place where women gather to share ideas? A place where they can learn from each other spread creativity, and expand their horizons? Are you missing that female connection you used to have when you were in school? Do you find yourself wanting to share thoughts, dreams and even your daily trials and tribulations with other women? Are you adventurous and wanting to be a part of something more in your life?

If so, you may be a Visionary, and it's you we're speaking to. Whatever form your vision takes, it is the seed that is about to be planted, nurtured, and grown into a beautiful flowering plant.

Taking Ownership

Taking ownership means embracing the fact that you are the driving force propelling your group forward. It means you are going to take on this job and do it well. It doesn't mean that you need to do all of the work yourself, nor do you need to be overly aggressive about it; rather, you need to keep your vision in front of you and remind the members what your vision is all about. What is important is the value of joining together and the value of being a part of this new venture.

It's funny but you will forever be seen as the leader of the group, even when other members surface up and actively participate in the growth and direction of the group. You started it. You were willing to take your idea and move it forward as a gift for yourself and others. What a wonderful way to make a difference to all who join you.

Just this small difference in their lives will impact their families and friends in very subtle, yet positive ways. These changes will spread to have an impact on the way they communicate with their neighbors, co-workers and participate in their communities. And when people grow and communities change for the better, their countries and ultimately the world have been affected in a most positive way.

All because you had a vision and wanted to share it. Step forward and start your own women's group.

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Is It Still A Man's World? - The Reality

While watching a republican televised debate, there was a question directed to Michelle Bachmann which was extremely sexist. "Given specific passages from the bible directing women to be submissive to their husbands, if she was elected as President of the United States would she let her husband tell her what to do?" My thought immediately was "I can hardly believe this kind of question was directed to a female candidate during a televised debate." Personally I'm not sure how you answer a question like that and still be professional. Answering that kind of question on the fly could bring out the worst in us. Instead, Ms. Bachmann's response was completely professional and dignified.

While I support women's rights and equality, I would not describe myself as a hard-core women's libber by any means. At the same time, women have been in the workplace for many years now and the question remains: is it still a man's world? According to the most recent data, women now make up nearly half (46.7%) of America's workforce and hold 51.5% of management, professional and related jobs (Catalyst Research). Yet only approximately 7.6% of Fortune 500 top executives are women and only 2.6% of Fortune CEOs are women. Have we won the battle but lost the war?

With the exception of a select few, most women are not able to truly break through that "glass ceiling" in real numbers, the speculation being that companies today continue to be built around "masculine norms" and "the good old boy network", try as we might to change it. There is no question; women face much more ambiguity than men when it comes to professional career advancement, culture and the "dos and don'ts" surrounding professional networking. In some fields, particularly engineering, advancement opportunities for women continue to be challenging. We have, however, made great headway. Many organizations have come to fully recognize the real value women bring to the table. We are great at multi-tasking and are all about "just getting things done."

Given the multiple roles women manage on any given day we are bottom line focused, goal oriented and great planners. Women bring a valuable dimension to the work place. One which supports diversity, innovation, consensus and the promotion of cultures supportive of nurturing work environments. All elements which are critical to the success of any organization.

That said there are some very positive trends happening with women-run businesses which are worth noting. According to the latest statistics published by the Women's Presidents Organization, (a New York based non-profit membership organization for women entrepreneurs of private companies generating revenues of $2 million or more) female executives are leading the way in many ways. Most recent data demonstrates 100% of the 50 fastest growing women-led organizations provide health insurance, 88% provide 401K plans and 80% provide life insurance and 47% offer retirement benefits. We are certainly doing our part to take care of our social responsibilities!

The strategy toward "winning the war" may very well lie squarely on corporate America's shoulders. In support of true equality and equal opportunity, organizational commitment and corporate pursuit of initiatives focused on building cultures sensitive to women's norms will be vital. Female executives will be called upon to lead the charge in this next stage of our professional development and journey to full recognition. I believe our success in this next phase relies heavily on women's ability to negotiate terms which are mutually beneficial to men, women, and the organizations we are all working to promote!

I believe women will win the war and achieve total equality in business! While we may not have fully arrived, our journey is well underway! What do you believe? Do you have a strategy that promotes your personal skills, talents and maximizes the contribution you are able to make within the organization you run, manage or work?

Nancy A. Root, MBA, CPC, Consultant/Business Coach
JN Consulting & Business Advisors and CEO of CoolMomsOnly.com
Website: http://www.coolmomsonly.com/
Email: nancy@coolmomsonly.com or nancy@innovativesb.com

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For Women Only, The Secrets Rich Men Rarely Tell

The first time I experienced financial success, I did not write the procedure down. As a result when it came time to rebuild in another industry, I had certain business skills, but didn't have a solid internal procedure. I mean writing the business plan, getting funding, following the business plan to success, because after all the business was successful in the business plan, right?

Well it's a little more to it then that. There is a mindset which cannot be bought, sold or compromised. And for some reason, women seem to miss the turn to this mindset. The first time around for me, my father, took care of the mind set. And the small business was a success. Now that he is gone, I have to do it for myself.

This time, I have taken notes, and it's the sum total of my notes, which I share in this article.

In my daily quest to make ends meet, while investing what little I could, and learning more about the mindset and personality traits of the wealthy. I found that most of 'them' believe themselves to be a cut above normal. I never read about or studied a wealthy individual (self-made) who didn't think highly of himself.

As I studied the different personalities and philosophies, I quickly learned that there is one common trait which almost all wealthy men have, besides buying farm land.

And if I had a child who would listen, I would say to her:

1. Buy the necessities, food and shelter and spend the balance of your disposable income on ANY investment which will give you a return. This includes everything from a $10 web site, to a million dollar apartment complex, to silver or gold.

2. When you have created, a service, product or procedure which will displace an already existing industry, in a cheaper or faster way, you can count on being wealthy, if the industry you are displacing doesn't kidnap you first.

One thing for sure, investing can become habit forming and the worst your habit, the more financially secure you can become. (Also the more money you can lose) Investing your money in the "right" investment goes a long way in determining the outcome. However, when you invest in yourself you have more control over the outcome. This is one of the reasons why the self-employed industry generates more and more millionaires each year.

So think about investing your disposable income on that which will give you something back. The BMW can wait. If you don't already have a passion, look for ways to make something better, or cheaper. But try not to displace another government agency, like email is doing to the US Post Office.

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Following Your Bliss As a High-Achieving Career Woman Requires Getting Nekked

When I first began feeling the rumblings that I wanted to change careers and follow my bliss, I continually chided myself for entertaining such "pie-in-the-sky" thoughts at my age. I was 41.

When I wasn't sticking pins in my own balloon, I was freaking out about what exactly I'd actually DO for a living if I took the plunge and struck out in a new direction.

There were times when the fear was palpable; when the doubt screamed so loudly it drowned out all of my talents and abilities and left me feeling nekked. Fresh-from-the-womb-really-truly-nekked.

Fortunately for me, the yearning to follow my yellow brick road to a life of significance became more persistent, more urgent, than my doubts and fears.

One of the things I did to gain a sense of clarity and purpose about my next "career" was to do a thorough excavation of my likes, dislikes, hobbies, skills, values, even what I loved to do as a child (because so often it's these childhood outlets that fuel our creativity and that we cast aside in order to become "adults").

This come-to-Jesus moment also meant getting clear on what I was willing to sacrifice in order to create my fully-actualized life, and just exactly what I wanted it to look like. Like so many other things that involve lasting change, it was a p.r.o.c.e.s.s.

And I discovered quite a lot as I sifted through layer after layer. It's these discoveries that have helped me understand what so many other midlife career women are wrestling with as they reach their individual crossroads.

One pivotal piece of my excavation shined a mega-wattage light on the fact that I'm a high-achiever ("Duh!" would say my husband) - I like wearing many hats, being involved in multiple projects. I like a certain amount of chaos.

If you're anything like me, you:
don't want "work-life balance."
like doing multiple things and doing them well (in fact, you're happiest this way because it ticks off a number of your fundamental motivational boxes).
are more interested in getting rid of negative kinds of stress, not stress itself (because you understand that to be alive is to feel stress, and not all stress is bad).
are a high-achiever.
crave leadership opportunities.
want to be part of the solution.
are fueled by action, creativity and effecting change.
recognize that despite your kinetic energy and love for social interaction, you need some time alone (maybe even a lot of time) to process and integrate all you're doing and learning.
can be a walking contradiction who is exceptionally busy and then suddenly, BOOM! you need time to decompress and recharge. It's when you don't give yourself this necessary break that your circuits begin to fry.

There's not enough focus on high-achieving career women (especially those of us in our midlife years) who like being busy and constantly challenged, and who have a need to be part of the solution.

For us, the "distress" comes when we're pressed to abide by the current work-life balance mantras, when we're no longer sure what we're "busy" for and are just going through the motions, or when life is filled with too much negative stress that depletes, exhausts and confuses us instead of eustress which fuels us and keeps us feeling fully alive and engaged.

If you recognize yourself in any or all of the above descriptors, I'd love to hear from you. What else do you know to be true, to be inescapable about reaching midlife as a high-achieving woman? How has that impacted your career choices or your decision to change careers? Has your life been overrun by negative stress and what are you doing (and not doing) to get that under control?

As Founder & CEO of Inner Affluence, Evelyn specializes in helping midlife career women increase their sacred capital. For these women, the desire to play a bigger game requires a strong profit motive, but making money is no longer the goal. The goal is a search for significance, a journey to uncover the wealth of the self, a rite of passage to their highest purpose, and to a life that is as unique as their fingerprint.

Evelyn is currently writing a book about women navigating through midlife. She is a speaker, consultant, published author and poet. Visit her at: http://www.inneraffluence.com/.

"Increase Your Sacred Capital!"

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Born a Girl, Became a Woman

Boy, girl, female, and male, woman and man- every single one of us is assigned a gender at birth. Within seconds of a baby being born, the doctor or midwife announces 'It's a boy' or 'it's a girl', and your gender identity is set for the rest of your life. Theoretically, from that moment on until you die, you will be put either in the blue group or pink group.

And for most of us this is a non-issue, as we never have a need to question our gender identity. We are conditioned from infancy, as we lay in our blue or pink world, to assimilate and socialise in to our gender. We go from girl babies, to little girls, to young women to women, without giving our gender identity a thought.

As women, our social feminisation is deep-rooted and instinctive. According to Scientific America, (source: Girl Brain, Boy Brain? By Lise Eliot. September 8, 2009), which states that 'Sex differences in empathy emerge in infancy and persist throughout development, though the gap between adult women and men is larger than between girls and boys. ' Gender socialisation is the more focused form of socialisation; it is how children of different sexes are socialised into their gender roles (source: Socialization and Gender Roles within the Family: A study on adolescents and their parents in Great Britain. Isabella Crespi Department of Sociology, Catholic University of Milan, Italy).

There are the thousands of babies, who are born biologically male or biologically female, but as they grow up, it slowly becomes apparent that the birth announcement 'it's a boy' should have been 'it's a girl' or vice versa. Gender identity disorder or gender dysphoria, is a conflict between a person's actual physical gender and the gender that person identifies himself or herself as (source: US National Library of Medicine. PUBMED Health.February 18, 2010. ). It is not known what causes transgenderism or whether it is physical or biological, mental, emotional or social.

Today female hormones and gender reassignment surgery are more accessible and a bit more readily available. And so every year thousands of Male to Female (MTF) transwomen relinquish their masculinity and undergo extreme surgery to remove their male parts. It is understandable, that for the duration of the transition, for these ladies it is about achieving the female physical appearance, so that they can take their place in society as a woman. We live, after all, in a society where the physical appearance is crucial to acceptance.

Over the years, the transgender political movement has taken huge steps forward and they have fought long and hard to ensure human and civil liberties for Trans people. It is only right that their human rights to health care, employment and housing are not only recognised but respected and enforced. No one should have to live in fear for their lives and be subjected to harassment and persecution, simply because of who they are. If we all accept that while 'the world is not comprehensible, but it is embraceable: through the embracing of one of its beings' (source: Martin Buber), we can make the world a much nicer place for every one of us.

Having lived through the process of a MTF transition, I appreciate what a Herculean effort it takes to transition from a male energy to a feminine one. I witnessed and empathised with the overwhelming need to be true to oneself; the constant struggle and fight for the basic right to exist and live. I admire and respect their courage, resilience, and determination and the strong belief in oneself that they possess.

I am also intrigued with the similarities and disparities between women and Trans women and the political and social variances, particularly in the context of the empowerment of women.

I recently attended a course entitled 'Awakening Feminine Power' which is about harnessing the creative energies of life and bringing balance to the feminine and masculine aspects of life. So it is interesting to note that there is a group of Trans women who have lived all their lives as a white, middle class male, typically got married and had children and usually worked in a very male dominated industry. Around middle age, they decide they want to go through a Male to Female transition. Yet pre, post and during transition they continue to operate within the male paradigm utilising their male traits and characteristics, (possibly because they have already successfully proven themselves as men and feel most comfortable there). Although it also perpetuates the dogma that business is based on the male energy since the male business model is the only one that is in existence, it seems to me we can learn from these women!

Life for a woman, is not easy even when you are born a girl. It is after all, according to Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of The One, 'only in the last 50 or 60 years since women, en masse for the first time actually began to awaken with an impulse to actualise their potentials beyond being wives and mothers'.

While we have come a long way in the last 100 years and the glass ceilings are showing definite cracks, we are still living in a 5000 year old patriarchal society, and still a long way from achieving gender equality socially, economically and politically. The success of the empowerment of women, professionally, politically, socially and personally relies heavily on women supporting women.

It follows that the empowerment of women movement has to be inclusive of all women - irrespective of how we became women, through birth or transition and regardless of sexual orientation, economics, age, nationality, culture or religion. We are all, after all, women.

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Balancing Work and Life for the Modern Woman

It's hard to believe that there was once a time when women were expected to be the primary caretakers in the household. Now it has become common for women to have successful careers and to have a home that looks like it came out of a page from Better Homes and Gardens. With the growing pressures of today's world, women are starting to feel the pressure of juggling everything and making it look effortless. Many women are struggling to create a balance between spending a few hours at work and taking time to enjoy their personal lives and spend more time at home. With the bad economy and layoffs and cut hours many women are scared to jeopardize their jobs and feel committed to working more hours. Even if you don't have control over how many hours you have to work there are other ways to find balance, peace, and sanity.

Plan fun time. It's easy to get sucked into working more hours and to dismiss fun activities. However, being proactive about scheduling relaxing activities is just as essential as scheduling your work life. Take a look at your life and all the activities and determine which ones make you happiest. If that's going to see a movie with an old friend, planning a date with your spouse, or making a soccer game it is important to engage in activities that release stress and make you happy. If there are any activities that sap energy or are draining in any way find a way to get out of them and plan something that will ensure making you happy.

Wake up earlier. Most people get up and go straight to work. Individuals that wake up earlier in the morning before going to work feel more fulfilled and like they are able to accomplish more in a day. One can exercise, meditate, or just spend time breathing in the fresh morning air.

Be healthy. This is something that we all hear a lot but don't always follow. A combination of regular exercise and a healthy diet goes a long way or elevating moods, sustain energy, and help with focus.

Work less hours. With the bad economy some companies are actually welcoming less hours and furloughed days. Many individuals are telecommuting or leaving earlier one day a week. This is a great opportunity to spend more time with your family, get that pedicure, or just relax at home more.

If you find that that you are still struggling with balancing your work life a life coach can help you determine ways to manage your time so that work and home life can coexist peacefully. Sometimes working with a personal life coach can help quiet the inner critic that doesn't want to take breaks. Life coaching sessions can help women figure out the added responsibilities of having more to do so that life can be a little more enjoyable and more fun.

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Can I Really Do It? Start a Women's Group

Perhaps you have anxiety that maybe you don't know enough people and won't be able to find members. Or maybe you're concerned that others will not be interested in your idea. It could be you're worried about how you will organize and structure the group, or maybe you think this isn't the right time to start a group like this. Perhaps you're apprehensive about scheduling in an ever busy world or maybe you just don't know where to start.

Whatever the reason, these thoughts can sideline you right from the beginning if your vision and desire aren't strong enough. But for those who like a bit of challenge and know they're on the right path, they will get started and continue onward.

When we have a vision, there are no guarantees it will work out as we expected. Yet, with your desire and the road map the authors provide, you will have a good chance to make your vision a successful reality.

Start today by recognizing you have the ability to succeed simply because you have the vision of your group in your mind. Your vision needs to be honored and nurtured. In the beginning, all you may see are things to do, problems to overcome, or overwhelming organizational issues, and you could potentially miss the most important aspect of starting the women's group.

Your women's group will truly be a labor of love, something which you have to work at and look after, something which takes time and effort, but it will be worth it. Your members will be so fulfilled and so thankful to be a part of your vision that they will constantly reward you for your effort.

If after reading this far, you're looking for a few solid tips to help you start your group, it's time to move forward from thinking into action. Our goal is to provide you with a thoughtful, get-down-to-basics road map so it's easier for you to move forward with your dream. What's important in the beginning is that you take ownership in moving the group forward.

So, Are You Up For the Challenge?

A strong desire helps you move forward a lot faster. Can you feel it? Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone to make it happen? Can you envision all the benefits for you and the other group members? Are you willing to take a chance in creating a women's group that excites you?

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Journey of a Single Mom

I was running late for a meeting when I got a call from my babysitter saying that my 10 year old ran away from home and left a note for me. I made a detour and rushed back home. My heart pounded so fast. I was feeling a host of emotions... guilt, anger, frustration, fear, and exasperation. "Why is he making things difficult for me? Can't he understand that I've had enough of his dad? Can't he see that his dad is at fault here"? These thoughts, and more, crossed my mind.

Finally I was home... and thank God my son was back too. I wanted to scold him so bad but I controlled myself. I hugged him, told him not to do it again, and warned him of the dangers of running away from home, most especially for his age.

My heart ached so bad. I knew he was trying to get my attention. I wanted to be there for him but I had to work so hard so I could continue providing for him and his one year old brother. Then it dawned on me that I was alone. I had to do it on my own... as a dad and a mom at the same time.

This is just one of the many painful incidents that happened to me and my children as a result of my separation from their dad. And this was just the beginning of my journey as a single mom to two boys... a journey that entailed a lot of balancing acts: a balance between feeling independent and having the sole responsibility of raising two kids; a balance between telling the truth to my children about their dad and concealing what may make them lose respect for their father; a balance between accepting my hurts and putting up a brave front; a balance between spending time with the children and managing my business; and a balance between being a father and a mother.

All those years I heard two voices inside of me: the mother who kept telling me, "You are not a teenager anymore. You have two boys you are responsible for"; and the young Lisa who kept saying, "You have been deprived of your youth. You deserve to enjoy life". It was a constant battle between the teenager in me that was forced to grow up early, and the mother in me who was doing her best to be responsible for her two boys. The more the adult Lisa in me tried to control the young Lisa in me, the more rebellious the young one got. But in her rebellion there was always that plaguing guilt. Vivid pictures of my boys played in my mind over and over again while I was sleeping with a man or partying with my friends. It almost drove me crazy. I wanted to run away but I could not. I felt trapped!

And then there was the corporate me, looking all strong and "put together". I projected an image of an independent woman who didn't need a man in her life. I was self-sufficient and successful. Married men wanted to be with me because I represented the type of woman who didn't care about commitment in relationships. I was also the envy of a lot of married women who wanted the freedom that I had.

With all these things going on in my life at that time, I still felt empty and lost. Though I didn't want to be with any man, I knew that my children needed some father figure... something I will never be able to provide them with. I also knew that they needed a more emotionally stable mom who spends quantity and quality time with them and not just bring them to nice places or buy them anything they want. I knew what was needed to be done but didn't know how to do it. I wanted to change but I kept failing. In fact, I met a man who treated me so good, and I got into a relationship with him. He was legally married to his wife but estranged from her, so I thought it was ok. I tried building a family with him and my boys. It was a made-believe world because we were not married. It actually made me more frustrated and insecure.

God was watching me all those times. And when His time came, He finally swept me off my feet. After four years of being a single parent, I got reborn. It was a personal encounter with Jesus that was waiting to happen. I was ripe for it.

I woke up the next day (after getting reborn the previous day) feeling so fresh and full of hope. I was ready to start a new life as a single mom. That was just the beginning. Day after day I was drawn closer and closer to the Lover of my soul. He started healing and restoring me. I lost the desire for everything outside of Jesus. I quit smoking, partying, drinking, and sleeping around. It's not even because "I had to". I just lost interest for it.

My boys saw the big change in mom. I led them to Jesus as well and both of them received Jesus sincerely in their hearts. I began bringing them to church with me and even having Bible studies and devotions with them at home. They also began to realize that their real dad is God the Father who will never leave them nor forsake them.

I will never forget one Scripture that God spoke so clearly to me one day...

For your Maker is your Husband--the Lord of hosts is His name--and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of the whole earth He is called. For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken, grieved in spirit, and heartsore--even a wife [wooed and won] in youth, when she is [later] refused and scorned, says your God. For a brief moment I forsook you, but with great compassion and mercy I will gather you [to Me] again. In a little burst of wrath I hid My face from you for a moment, but with age-enduring love and kindness I will have compassion and mercy on you, says the Lord, your Redeemer.
(Isaiah 54:5-8)

God became my husband and the father of my children. I was so content with Him and didn't even want to be married to anyone else. When He was finally so sure that no one can ever take His place in my heart, He sent me the man He has set aside for me. He knew I was ready for an earthly husband.

I have been married to my 2nd husband for almost four years now and our marriage is a testimony of how God heals and restores.

Lisa is a Professional Writer/Consultant with over 10 years of experience in Professional Writing Public speaking, and Human Resources in Organizational Development. She manages a Professional Writing business which includes Résumé Writing, Business Letter Writing, Essays, Business Plans, Website Content, Editing Jobs, Press Kits, and other writing requirements.

Other than her business, Lisa is also an evangelist/preacher/minister. She has 10 years of ministry experience including pastoring a women's prison; conduct of Bible-based seminars and Bible studies in corporate offices; preaching engagements in churches, police camps, schools, and other organizations; outreach programs for poor families and children; and pastoring a church. Together with her husband, they drive around towns, cities, and eventually states, with their JESUS van, to bring the church outside where the people are. They head a ministry called God'z Gang whose main focus is to reach those who are not reached by traditional means and methods used by churches.

In 2010, Lisa self-published a book entitled UNVEIL ME. It is a self-help, Bible-based book that talks about the woman's needs and wants, how these were distorted along the way, how these distortions have wounded her, and how she can experience true healing through Jesus Christ. It is a book that talks about her own hurts and the process of healing she went through and still going through. It also talks about stories of other women that every other woman can relate to.

Lisa holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English and some "masteral" units in Psychological Services.

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Living Life Going Up The Down Escalator

In order to write this article I've spent a great deal of time thinking about work+life fit, and looking for examples of severe work-life balance dysfunction among business women with family obligations who feel like they're barely treading water.

It's not like there aren't a gazillion examples out there for me to choose from, but I don't know their stories as well as I know my own. After a ridiculous amount of time discounting my own experiences, I realized that it's my ability to understand what other women are going through - that "I've walked-in-your-stilettos" camaraderie - that makes me credible.

It doesn't have to be about me, but if what I've gone through can help someone else recognize where they're off track, then why would I downplay its importance?

So, here's a little story - a perfect example of work-life "balance" run amok (and if you could see me right now, you'd see that I'm putting little finger quotes around the word "balance").

Once Upon A Time, In a Galaxy Not So Far Away...

About 6 years ago I was working in a brand new, high-level position that basically required me to create my job description as I went along.

I loved what I was doing, but it meant 70+ hour work weeks, lots of traveling and very little local or national support from my organization.

I was newly remarried after a 20-year marriage and several years as an, eh hem, "single" woman. We're talking "adjustment" challenges. You know, those important

"Must you leave the toilet seat up?"

"Is it necessary for you to use the exercise bike as a coat rack?"

"No, your ginormous dogs can't sleep in bed with us!"

"Why do you always put the empty carton of milk back in the fridge" kind of adjustments.

My 21-year old son was in the military, and word was that his unit was being deployed to Afghanistan in a few weeks (thankfully, in military time "a few weeks" stretched into "never").

Because my current husband had never had children and both mine were grown, we decided to become emergency foster parents, and the first child placed with us was a 10-year old girl with a host of psychological and behavioral problems, a gut-wrenching history, and a one-way, no return ticket from the social service agency.

Prior to my remarrying, my elderly mom had been living with me fairly independently for several years, but after a recent hip fracture at the age of 88, her health had really begun to decline, and she required 24 hour a day care at home.

While my husband was extremely supportive and a roll-up-your-sleeves and pitch in kind of guy, I had no immediate family nearby to help shoulder some of my mom's care.

Any one of these things by itself required a great deal of time, effort and adjustment. Pile all these individual ingredients on top of each other, mix them all together, and it was a recipe for disaster.

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar!

Like many of you, I felt responsible to "balance" all these things, and of course, to handle them all perfectly.

Well, the perfection part might not be your particular issue, but I'm guessing you can relate to what I'm saying.

Add the feminist manifesto I'd learned as a product of the early 70s playing in my ears (think Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman" song where she's bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan) and it's no wonder my body began to rebel.

The Crash

Now it isn't that I didn't take care of myself the least little bit - I did. But it was erratic and on-the-fly, and this quasi-taking-care-of-myself-posturing still didn't stop me from pushing my needs lower on the "to do" list so that I could attend to more important fires blazing around me.

And after months and months (in actuality, it was a couple of years) of trying to balance the scale between career and home life, I crashed.

I developed a serious, progressive and incurable illness that forced me to do what I'd refused - or hadn't been able to do before - come up with a workable work+life fit integration plan that was flexible, strategic, and relevant tothe realities of my life.

Rising From the Ashes

I delegated or let go of what I could, and asked for more support at work and at home where I needed it most.

It meant moving my mom to a nursing home where she could get the intensive care she needed, and saying no to adoption - something we really hadn't wanted to do in the first place when we became foster parents.

It meant dealing with the bone-crushing sense of guilt and shame I felt that I was letting people down because I couldn't do it all.

It meant resigning from a job I loved, but could no longer give 100% to, and, on a truly positive note, it meant opening my own business so I could still be productive and of service - but in a way that allowed me more flexibility and control, and better able to manage my health.

Teeny, Tiny Steps Will Still Get You There

Now understand - it's not necessary that you make sweeping changes all at once. In my case, I'd waited too long, and the sense of urgency when it all came crashing down forced me to stop vacillating.

But small, incremental changes can make a HUGE difference in how you manage and experience your life.

For example, when it comes to making changes to your work life:

Most of the time you may not want to work less - just differentlyStart with what you DO want, not what you DON'T want. The only thing most people know is that they don't want the fit they currently have. You must begin by asking: "How do I want work to fit into my life?"Ask! What's the worst that can happen? They'll say "No" - and most likely, they'll say "Yes" to a well thought out plan for at least a trial period, which is why you must ask - especially if you're really ready to leave anyway.Redefine success to match your fit. Make sure that your personal definition of success is working FOR you and not AGAINST you.

It hurts your career more not to adjust your fit. Burning out, becoming unproductive, ignoring personal problems or getting sick certainly won't help your career (mind you - hindsight is always 20/20).

Pretty please, with lots of sugar on top (and little sprinklies if they're your thing) - use my experience as an example of what NOT to do. I don't mind being a poster child for recovering dysfunctional work-life balance syndrome (okay - I know I just made that up), as long as it helps get you off that roller coaster ride you're on and on the path to being your fully integrated, awesome self! Sweet!

As Founder & CEO of Inner Affluence, Evelyn specializes in helping midlife career women increase their sacred capital. For these women, the desire to play a bigger game requires a strong profit motive, but making money is no longer the goal. The goal is a search for significance, a journey to uncover the wealth of the self, a rite of passage to their highest purpose, and to a life that is as unique as their fingerprint.

Evelyn is currently writing a book about women navigating through midlife. She is a speaker, consultant, published author and poet. Visit her at: http://www.inneraffluence.com/.

"Increase Your Sacred Capital!"

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Ladies, Wake Up!

It is about time we think further to make sure our daughters have a better life than we do.

Ok, in the western world, women's situation is not that bad: they can vote. They can study, work, aim for the top positions politically and in business organizations. The reality though is in the numbers.

Sheryl Sandberg talks much better than me about these numbers and I really invite you to view the video that you can watch on my blog.

The reality is also that working women with children are not only consumed with guilt, but they also feel a pressure that men don't feel. The pressure I am talking about is the one linked to physical appearance and ability to seduce and convince.

It is hard to change patterns that have been going on for centuries. The lack of self-confidence in most women stems from the fact that, for a very long time, women have seen themselves through the men's eyes.

I was looking at the TV show Bewitched with my daughter the other day. And suddenly I understood why unconsciously I had banned all pink and girlies stuff for my daughter, who, as a result, has never played dolls, princess or anything like that. I guess I had the intimate conviction that this was a fraud.

I find it difficult shopping for gifts for girls because I do not want to feed into this debilitating, servile drive to confine women in an obedient domestic role.

If we want the male female interaction to change, it has to start in education. It has to start in our homes. Who would offer a doll or an ironing board to a boy? Who would offer cars, power symbols to a girl?

My little boy who is five loved to dress up a baby doll neglected by my daughter, but very soon peer pressure taught him that it is not cool to do so for a boy: it is a girl thing!

How long more learning to care for others will stay a primarily girl thing? Most of the best teachers my kids have had were male teachers; they were all very diligent about teaching respect between genders, teaching girls and boys to work together.

It is stunning to me to see how it is, here in California. From a very early age, boys are encouraged to socialize with boys only and idem for girls. How come we don't see how deeply wrong this is? Women and men are very different, so are boys and girls. This is the reason why we need to put more effort to make sure they acclimate and understand in a respectful way one another.

When I finished the equivalent of fifth grade in France, I changed school to start my middle school years. I was among twenty two other girls the first generation of female students in a fifty year old boy school. To "survive" in that male dominated environment, we all had to review our behaviors and our way of thinking. We had to be as good as the boys in games that they had been playing for a long time, and that were new to us. Personally, it was not difficult, I loved boys games; I found them much more fun than anything the girls did.

That experience probably shaped me much more than I have ever been aware of. I guess my initial interest for male's mind rooted there.

I believe today that we need to create a balanced communication between men and women. This is what my website will be about: PeaceReminder will be this bridge that makes understandable for men what women truly want in their relationship.

But we need to restore healthy women relationships. The insecurity most women feel hinder their relationship not only with men but also with women. As a result, women are not helping one another the way they could.

By the time we will have reached complete male female equality in home and childcare duties, we might as well be dead and our children too. Collective patterns are very hard to change. So before we blame men for not changing fast enough, we should review our own behaviors first.

As I said in a previous post "Are working women the root of the problem?", we need more and more women in the work force, especially in leading positions. Personal fulfillment is also critical for most women, and this is healthy. It is healthy for them and for the world, because it fosters ethics and values in the business world. A woman who has children will be less likely to make decisions that could potentially harm her children in the long run.

This is what the world need.

So not only we would benefit to have more women in leading positions, we would benefit even more if these women had a fulfilling personal life. The whole work place would be transformed.

For that we must support one another. We should not feel threatened by the appearance or the success of another woman. We are not in competition anymore to get the full attention of a male for our sake and future. Our daughters will seize the opportunity that was offered to us, to be fully financially independent from the start: they will choose their male partner because they want a fulfilling personal life, not because they have to.

Raising children should be part of the process in a manageable way. I keep repeating post after post that a day is twenty four hours no matter what. It is unsustainable to ask a woman to have two, sometimes three jobs a day. You know that I am adamant about domestic help, believing it is a necessity to keep all sanity. I also think that more women interactions would lower the stress level of many. Women benefit from talking to one another. Even John Gray in his last book Venus on Fire Mars on Ice says so. Never, in human history raising a child has fallen on the shoulders of one person only. If you take a look at traditional communities, as soon as they are weaned, children are raised by the entire community.

So what are we waiting for to increase the mutual help we can offer? Why is there so few carpool for example?
Here is my explanation:

Women after freeing themselves more or less successfully from a male tutorial system, have submitted to the dictatorship of their own children. They let who they should guide be the guidance. They follow their kids' agenda relentlessly.

I am close to believe that there is a conspiracy to make sure that women will never reach their full potential.

Once you have a child these days, know that crystal is easier to take care of.

You, the mother, are responsible for his health, his mental health, his development, his growth, his attitude. And just a bit like the couple hours embryo is a human being with full rights, know that the child is a mini adult with full rights. In fact this child has more rights than you, the mother, do. He can traumatize you by driving you insane but you can't take any measures of retorsion because this is bad parenting. This child needs to express himself, he needs to be heard, he needs to be acknowledged every minute, even if this child has no sense of boundaries and steps over your personal space repeatedly.

A child is self-centered, which is part of the process of being a child. As a result he is completely selfish, and that selfishness should be weeded out if we want to eventually make a responsible and caring adult out of that child.

Children are not those fragile creatures, easily traumatized that most parenting lecturers will claim they are: if that were so we would not exist. How could our grandparents or even our parents have coped with the dreadful childhood they had when they were not seen nor heard?

Children are growing beings who need love and assistance until their brain is fully developed.
So can we stop pretending that these little beings have the ability to decide for themselves. The worse is teenage years. It seems that the more research is being done on these transitional years the less common sense we are using. Teenagers are deceiving because very quickly they look like grown-ups even if their brain is still a child's brain. How can we expect a teenager to make the right decision for his own sake when he does not have the brain to do so?

So we don't carpool because the child does not want to, because it is not fun for him.

Are we all mad???

We should not let children rule our lives. It is detrimental for us and for them. Please see my other post "children should come after your couple" for that matter.

Ladies friends, the alternative is this: either we find a way to bring back balance in our lives or we stop having children altogether.

For those of us who already have children, there is no alternative: we must find a way!

Women, get together, be kind to one another, make your life easier, help one another, so you can express your potential. Have no fear. Other women and many men will be here to cheer you.

My name is Anne Benissan. I am dedicated to improve long-term relationship in a pragmatic way. I believe that women need to go beyond the boundaries that have been theirs for so long. Soon will be launched PeaceReminder, the ultimate tool for men to improve their relationship efficiently. For the moment, only my blog http://www.annebenissan.com/ is live where you can check my bio, my ideas and of course give me your comments.

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