Things Every Woman Should Have In Her Car

We've all been in the situation where you're in your car and you don't have something you need. Perhaps you left it at home or in the office, or it's in your other purse. Below are a few essential items that just about every woman uses often. You should have a few of these items and leave them in the places you are in most, like your car and your office.

Umbrella: This is one situation that nobody likes to get stuck in. You're in your car on your way to an important meeting or a date, your hair and make up are done, when suddenly it starts to downpour. Then your heart stops as your realize that you don't have your umbrella with you. If you make sure to always have a spare umbrella in your trunk, you will be so thankful when it starts raining.

Sunglasses: This is another essential item that can save you from weather disasters. Don't you just hate it when you're driving and suddenly the sun is shining directly in your eyes? Sometimes you can squint enough to drive normally, but sometimes it's actually dangerous! Sunglasses don't just protect your eyes from harmful UV rays or make you look cool, but they will help when the sun is glaring in your eyes. Keep a pair in your purse and an extra pair in your glove compartment. The one in your car should just remain there for car rides only. Invest in a good quality pair that is polarized for optimum protection. Try wholesale sunglasses for cheaper deals.

Spare change: This always comes in handy. Whether it's to feed the meter, paying a toll or using a pay phone, spare change is something you should always keep plenty of in your car. Try to have an assortment of quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies. Some cars have special compartments for change. If yours doesn't, just keep it somewhere close by the driver's seat where it's easy to reach.

Cell phone charger: This one is a no brainer. No matter what happens on the road, having your cell phone on you and fully charged keeps you just a phone call away from help.

Snacks: Whether you're a mom driving car pool or you take long trips back and forth from work, having packaged snacks in your car at all times will keep your hunger at bay when you're stuck in traffic or had to take a detour. Get snacks that have a long shelf life and are healthy, like protein bars, cereal, pretzels or dried fruit. This will keep you, your kids and anyone else in your car happy until you get to your location.

Having these essential items in your car can make your ride easier and safer. wholesale sunglasses are one of the items that are cheaper to get wholesale, so consider getting wholesale fashion sunglasses from wholesalefashionsquare.com. Your wallet will thank you!

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Top 10 Remedies to Remove Dark Circles Under Your Eyes

Have you been working late at night? Or maybe you have been to stress out on working on school reports or perhaps went to one too many parties. Whatever the reason might be, dark eye circles are hardly a flattering look for both women AND men.

Fortunately, there are remedies for lessening the appearance of one's dark eye circles. It is, however, important to realize that there could be many plausible reasons to the cause of dark eye rings. The most common reasons are fatigue, stress and it could even be hereditary. And some cases are more treatable than others.

Here are the remedies.

1. Have a good quality sleep.

Getting a full 8-hour sleep is easier said than done. Insufficient sleep tends to cause the skin to become paler (thus increasing the appearance of dark eye rings), and reduces blood circulation.

It varies from individuals as to how much sleep you need (try 7-9 hours). It's vital to get that amount of sleep regularly for a couple of weeks, at least. It is also worth noting that, abstaining from alcohol and smoking might help to improve the quality of your sleep.

2. Eat Well

Eat a healthy, well balanced meal, regular intake of vitamins and drink plenty of fluids. A lot of cosmetic problems, especially dark eye rings, are attributed to lack of anti oxidants and vitamins like Vitamin K.

3. Cool as a cucumber

After a particularly strenuous day at work, cool and brightened your weary eyes by placing cold cucumber slices over closed lids. Close your eyes for about 15 minutes or so, and just relax.

4. Tea for two

In the event that you don't have any cucumbers at home, perhaps you can go with the humble teabag. Take a used tea bag (Except for herbal tea bag), after it has cooled, and put it under your eyes.

Make sure that the tea bag is somewhat dry (and not wet!) as the moist from the tea will irritate your eyes and make it look as if you have been crying.

Again, just lie down in a sofa, with your eyes closed and think happy things.

5. Cold teaspoons

If you don't quite fancy the idea of used teabags or cucumbers, you can also use cold teaspoons! Believe it or not, cold teaspoons can work wonders. Put two CLEAN teaspoons in the fridge and when they are cold, lay on a sofa and put the spoon on the dark eye circles. It is also effective in refreshing both the area and the eyes.

6. Massage for your eyes

There are simple massage techniques that can be performed at the comfort of your own home/office. For example, place the ring fingers at the inner corners of the eyes and press gently for a few times; then move the fingers towards the outer corner of the eyes (the temples). Mildly press the skin with the middle fingers all the way from the inner to the outer corner of the eyes. This will soothe down the inflamed areas under the eyes.

7. Be sun-proofed.

On a hot sunny day, be sure to wear a sun screen with a minimum of SPF 30 under the eyes to prevent skin weakening caused by sun damage, which in turn causes your dark eye rings to be more visible.

8. Stop smoking

Smoking does not do your dark eye rings any favour. It causes vascular (blood vessel) problems that can not only threaten your life but also make your blood vessels appear more prominent and bluer.

9. Vitamin K and retinol

If home remedies are not your cup of tea, you might want to consider eye creams or other eye cosmetics. It is worthy to take note that it will be more efficient to use an eye cream that contains Vitamin K and retinol. Vitamin K may help to reduce the bruising of the dark eye circles, which are likely to be caused by lack of Vitamin K. Regardless of the cause; eye skin creams containing these two ingredients reduce puffiness and dark eye rings significantly in many people. Long-term daily use seems to have the greatest effect.

10. Just Relax

It can't be stressed enough how relaxing is vital to help you feel less anxious and stressed out that makes you have inadequate sleep and rest. A good relaxation will help your eye skin to improve as you feel less stressed and more at ease. Skin tends to reflect a whole host of emotional and physical ailments, so don't dismiss the need to relax lightly.

Dark eye rings need not be a permanent occurrence or problem. With these simple remedies, you can say goodbye to the tired looking and dark eye rings.

Spahaven provides professional skin care consultation and treatments including solutions for dark eye circles in Singapore.

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Women Are Amazing!

Some men may feel threatened by the increasing space taken by women in the business and political world. They should not and let me tell you why.

Most problems we currently face as modern nations are linked to the fact that we have lost our connection with rhythms and cycles. It is not that these rhythms and cycles have disappeared; in fact they are the only steady and predictable things in our world today.

What went wrong is that we have been ignoring them. So instead of working with them, they are imposed on us and we are not prepared. Working with them would mean accepting and respecting these cycles, preparing for the downside when we are in the upside.

Women have an extraordinary ability to stay in tune with the concept of cycle. The very first one is of course the body monthly adjustment to procreate or not, that they feel each month.

As annoying as periods may be, they act as a reminder that we belong to something much bigger than us, over which we have no control. The medical world has tried to suppress that monthly reminder by providing a pill that would stop all periods for six months. But besides the physical side effects of taking such a pill, the very role of guardian and base of all things that women should have is affected.

The world in which we live in has lost all respect for seasons, for cycles of the human kind. As a result, kids have become mini adults, weekly breaks from all activity to reconnect with oneself and the divine are not respected either. Divine here should not be taken in a religious way. Divine represents what is beyond us, what is bigger than us, so it could easily represent your religious belief of a super power, and it should also speak to non believers. What is beyond us is a fact, not a belief. Moon cycle, earth rotation, blood renewal cycle, these are facts.

We would all gain greatly by reconnecting with these cycles that govern our lives whether we like it or not.

Women have the ability to do that: they have this long-term view, this capacity to anticipate and see something coming way before material signs show.

The more we will trust women's intuition the better the world will be.

Women are not power seekers; they have a goal that goes beyond immediate gratifications. And most importantly they have ethics: working for the greater good is meaningful to them.

In their daily life, they all must have a deep understanding of the whole picture to juggle with work, household, kids, groceries and so forth. The wide spectrum of what they cover would benefit greatly to the world.

That combined with the sharpness, pragmatism and efficiency men are capable of can do miracles.

Chinese have understood that long ago: balance comes from the right combination of Yin (ultimate feminine) and Yang (ultimate masculine).

This is why you should get a closer look at your couple. Your couple is, at the family cellular level, the representation of this yin yang balance in action.

So it is about time we all go beyond the prejudiced ideas we have on the other gender, and we start focusing on each gender's assets.

Women are plagued with their insecurity passed on from generations and generations. Few of them have a true self-confidence that would allow them to blossom and express their potential.

I also believe that this insecurity is the base of many relationship issues. This sort of complex triggers a game score keeping over the competition of who does what, as if this score game was giving any value to what women do on a daily basis.

I will offer some ideas to get rid of this insecurity in another post. For now I want to raise your awareness on the amazing skills women have and the world could benefit from.

Gentlemen, don't feel threatened. What women can bring into the business world is something you don't have; so your best interest is to add their skills to your own arsenal.

Stand up Ladies! You are amazing!

My name is Anne Benissan. I am dedicated to improve long-term relationship and women condition. I believe that men and women are complementary so only balance can bring fulfillment. Soon will be launched the ultimate tool for men to understand their female partner, and finally meet success effortlessly in their relationship. For the moment only my blog is live. You can check it at http://www.annebenissan.com/. Do not hesitate to leave your comments.

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Why Can't Women Have It All?

I read with interest yesterday's Telegraph article in which new Dragon's Den member Hilary Devey comments, "women can never have it all - it's how God breeds us." This is actually something I've been pondering a lot recently. I was born in the 60s, grew up in the 70s and have never questioned the assumption that women can have it all. The feminist movement, socialist politics and general optimism of those eras really did inspire girls to see their lives as full of unlimited possibilities, which to an extent they were.

I attended a large comprehensive girls school in central London where despite being a single sex school, almost all subjects were available to study. Suddenly the prospect of university education for working class girls was a reality and no longer was the prospect of a House wife's life considered the norm. However, now in my late 40's I sadly have to admit that Hilary may be right. Having worked full time all of my adult life, been in a long term relationship and having children I now realise that I haven't been able to climb to the heights that I expected I would. When it comes down to it, the ultimate responsibility for childcare rests with me and quite honestly that feels right. I never had any ambition to be a career mum and certainly don't consider myself to be a helicopter mother but childcare is always the first consideration both in terms of how I juggle my time, the employment I take and the salary I accept.

My own parents both worked full time and I remember mum working all day in one factory, rushing home to give us four kids and Dad our tea, then rushing off to work in another factory at night. She did all the shopping, housework, everything. I remember being ill and mum taking me to school and telling me not to tell anyone I felt ill because she had to work. That's the way it was then and I'm sure mum never felt she had it all - she was too busy and knackered to stop and think of anything like that.

I am a lot more fortunate than she was in many ways and can't say my life has anything like the slog hers had, but it is extremely difficult trying to carry on working because I enjoy it and achieving anything like what I could have if I didn't have to spread myself around so much. Of course it's easier (logistically) for women who are in high paid jobs because they can afford the Nanny, Cleaner, Personal Assistant but is it really about that either?

I can remember being sent to school holiday clubs because mum worked and absolutely hating it, being envious of friends whose mum's didn't work and were with them during school holidays. I remember school friends who used to go home for lunch because mum was there to cook for them and sometimes I'd go with them - it was lovely. That's why I really want to be with my children during school holidays, after school, when they're ill. Actually I enjoy being with my children and feel that they're my greatest achievement.

I don't know if Hilary is right in believing that mother's feel this way because it's the way God breeds us. For myself it could be my own childhood experiences or it could be genetics but I suspect it may be a combination of both. Certainly I feel at the age of 48 I am heading for burn out in trying to achieve it all and rather disappointed that it appears to be impossible but I would still encourage young women to try. What do you think? Add a comment reflecting your opinion!

Joanna Davis

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Winning the Battle Against Unwanted Facial Hair

Ever heard about women afflicted with hirsutism? Chances are most of us are not familiar with the medical term, although many women experience this condition. Hirsutism refers to the presence of too much bodily and facial hair among women, which typically occurs in a male pattern. Modern medicine attributes abnormal and excessive hair growth in women to either heredity or hormonal imbalance. Hence, if your mom or a relative in the first or second degree has facial hair, there is possibility that you will, too. Millions of American women work hard to do away with unwanted facial hair on a weekly basis or even daily - they shave, they tweeze, and they wax.

Even models, the most desirable women in the world, are bothered with troublesome hair. So, before you freak out, you may want to browse over this article for tips on how to win the battle against those unwanted facial hair. Facial hair removal for women may be classified under two main categories of intervention outside of the shave-tweeze-wax trilogy: the home remedies, and the clinical approaches.

The first line of defense for hair removal among many women is home remedies. There are creams and lotions that are available over-the-counter. Formulations remove facial hair either permanently or until the hair grows back again. The permanent hair remover creams are definitely more expensive than the creams and lotions, which remove hair only temporarily. You can choose which cream to buy, depending on your budget - but you have to make sure to discontinue use the moment you experience any burning sensation or allergic reactions. In which case the home remedies may not be the appropriate solution to your unwanted hair problem.

There are also clinical approaches to hair removal, and the most popular so far is laser removal. Contrary to popular belief, laser hair removal is not a one-time wonder treatment. It requires from several treatments to guarantee an effective intervention against facial hair. Each laser treatment targets only a specific percentage of your unwanted hair and progresses to the next adjacent area until your skin is rendered hair-free and smooth. Laser treatments may be painless or painful, depending on the equipment used, a person's threshold for pain, and the sensitivity of the facial area being treated. Pain is usually managed by oral painkillers or anesthetics.

There are, however, some isolated cases of permanent side effects observed from laser hair removal, such as: paler skin, scars or even skin discoloration. The most common temporary side effects are blistering and swelling. Additionally, the home remedy creams also have their share of side effects, including damage to the skin, odor, as well as growth of even more hair and uneven skin discoloration.

The modern woman will move heaven and earth to look her best and to boost her self-confidence. Yet, the modern woman is intelligent and discerning. Weigh your options and never compromise safety with quality.

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Multitasking Women Need More Energy

Women who handle more than one task at a time are always looking for more ways to energize their bodies. They want to keep abreast of the demands of everyday living. Whether the hectic life is centered on family activities or being organized at work, these ten enlightening tips will help you maintain a sense of balance and energy from sunrise to sunset.
Start your day with energy boosting foods that nourish the body and sustains it for four or five hours. Begin your day with grounding foods like Quinoa, berries, and nuts. These energy boosting foods help to keep you from snacking between meals.
If you work outside of the home, on your lunch break, make small talk with your colleagues. Talk about light airy subjects that provoke laughter and intrigue, avoid stressful subjects that drain your energy.
Taking vitamin C and eating a balanced diet throughout the day will boost your energy levels and keep you balanced all day long.
A brisk walk provides the tendency to clear the mind and invigorate the body to finish any daunting task remaining at the end of the day.
Be positive about your outlook on life. Remember to change the things you can change and learn to accept those things you cannot change. This kind of thinking provides you with more energy to nourish yourself.
Spend time with real friends. Virtual people are not included. Actually talk to friends in person or on the telephone. Making emotional connections, using full sentences rather than speaking in code can be quite energizing.
Stay hydrated, energetic people drink six to eight ounce glasses of water daily. Water is important for mental and physical processes to function properly. Dehydration can drain your energy levels and make you tired.
Take time out of your daily routine to meditate. Meditation doesn't mean standing on your head chanting. It means taking time to slow down, unwind, and refocus your thinking. Simply close your eyes, take three deep cleansing breaths to clear your mind. This will create a greater awareness of your inner self and environment at that moment in time. Meditation is a great way to bring a sense of peace and happiness to your surroundings.
Go to bed at the same time every evening. Get six to eight hours of sleep. Do not read in bed. Make sure the room is completely dark to sleep soundly.
Make plans to do something you have always wanted to do, but never took the time to make it happen. The planning and the anticipation of making this desire a reality can be exhilarating and energizing. For example driving to an unfamiliar destination and exploring the culture of the area, or getting caught in a downpour with your sweetie and turning it into a romantic interlude. Whatever it is get caught up in the planning or in the latter case, the spontaneity and get energized!

My name is Marvaneen Starr, I am a Certified Holistic Health Coach and licensed Social Worker. I am the founder and owner of Starr4Holistic-Health-Choices. My goal is to support individuals and families to make better food choices for better health. My specialty is providing support for women in their forty plus years to live a more vibrant, balanced, and exciting life. "Sick and tired of being sick and tired?" Let's talk, for more information feel free to visit my website at http://starr4holistic-health-choices.com/

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Rising Above Low Self-Esteem

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

"I love you." "You are so smart." "You are so pretty." "You can do and be anything you want to." These were the words that I heard my mother tell me on an almost daily basis when I was a child. She constantly affirmed me whenever she could. Hearing words like those, one might think that I would grow up to be one of the most confident, esteemed women...but for a long time I wasn't. You see, although my mother was always there to say kind words to me, someone else I was dying to hear them from wasn't: my father.

The issues I had with him were two-fold. For one my father was absent physically from my life for the most part, which made me feel unwanted, as if he had other places and people he'd rather be with. For two, he never seemed to love the things about me that made me who I was: my creative side that loved to make things and sing, or my loving and caring ways towards people, which kind of reinforced his perceived desire to be away from me in my mind.

I always felt that he wanted to change me in some way. He always had a way of letting me know that someone else was doing better than me, more than me or that I just didn't measure up, and it really damaged my sense of self-esteem. Half of me was rational and level headed when it came to the way I saw myself in some areas of my life, but the other half, the side that had to do with my value to men, was very broken.

I wanted so badly to feel like I made him proud, and because I never seemed to feel that I did, I would later look for that approval in the men I dated once I became a woman. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how many times that didn't work.

My story is not unique, however. There are women all over this world who, for whatever reason, struggle with not having a healthy sense of self-worth and it affects so much of their lives, from the choices they make while dating, to the way they allow people to treat them, or the way they treat themselves. Maybe you too are a woman who is battling with low self-esteem and if so, there are a few things you should know.

1.Low self-esteem was not created by God. The lies that the enemy tries to tell us about ourselves, even those that come from people who should be loving us, are just that...lies, and they are meant to tear you down, not build you up. However, that is not God's design for your life because His promises are not built on lies. God made you, and He isn't in the business of making any trash! He has an awesome plan for you, and He also loves you very much, so much that He was willing to send His son Jesus die for you and that's saying a lot!

2.Low self-esteem cannot be healed through anyone or anything except God. That's right, there is no man, no amount of money, attention, success, status or anything else in this world that can truly fix what is broken within you if you are suffering from low self-esteem. The things of this earth may distract you from your real pain for a time, but only God can permanently mend those wounds. The first step comes with us acknowledging God's sovereign place as the Healer of our hearts and handing our pain over to Him. When we focus our attention on starting or growing a relationship with the Lord, instead of trying to fill our voids through other means, we truly set ourselves up for success!

3.It's important to distance ourselves from those sources of negative self-image. It's a bit cliché, but the idea that hurt people hurt people is really true a lot of times. Those people in your life who may be telling you that you aren't worth much may be feeling that way about themselves on the inside and they superimpose their negativity onto you. Sometimes they do it on purpose and sometimes they do it because that's the only way they know how to relate to you, perhaps someone else did the same thing to them. Although it isn't your place to try and "fix" them, it is important to recognize them for who they are and what they are bringing to your life at this time. You should still love and pray for them but understand that it is God's view of you, not theirs that really matters.

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Why Do Women Get Overwhelmed? 4 Common Reasons Why Women Are Feeling Confused In Their Businesses

Women who get overwhelmed is a huge topic in today's world. Many working women work full time and then go home and put in an additional 20 hours plus at home each week. No wonder they are exhausted, falling apart at the seams and often can't seem to slow down enough to get intimate with their loved ones.

Busy women are like a plague that has erupted and we've got to get conscious about how we make our decisions to stop it. With every "get" there is a "give". Sometimes that give isn't worth taking time for.

As an entrepreneur, one of the most lucrative time saving activities that I learned was how to USE my TIME wisely. As you read this article, take note on how you are spending your time.

There are 4 Common Reasons Why Women Are Feeling Confused In Their Business.

#1 Too much input during the day tends to overwhelm women because we have a defuse way of thinking. That causes us to attach onto multiple streams of information and then short circuit because we try and handle it all.

Streamline your email inbox by deleting information that isn't directly serving you in moving towards your personal and professional life. Personally I direct my clients to focus on one leader until you've received all that you can from them and then go searching for your next mentor. Too many mentors, emails, and input will destroy your momentum.

#2 Not Clear about what you want!
Answer this question: How will you know when your business is successful?
If you are not specifically clear about what that looks like then you are not clear. Every decision you are faced with can be solved with clarity.

Most people are willing to sway both ways and are waiting to place their bets to see what team is going to win. You can't operate in peace with that mentality. Be willing to trust yourself and CHOOSE your life. Whatever happens, you'll be alright. Standing in the grey area of a decision will always cause you more stress and often lead to breakdowns.

#3 Nickel & Diming Your Bank Account to Death isn't going to serve your future. In marketing we have a saying that if you don't listen to what your clients WANT and then GIVE it to them, they will go and spend that money someplace else.

Your client IS NOT going to invest in you if you aren't investing in sharpening your own skills. Here's why! All of us entrepreneurs have to invest in getting better at serving our clients. Otherwise we have a short-lived company because the market will outpace your product or service.

As a small business woman you have to learn copywriting, social media, blogging, packaging and pricing, and how to create an unstoppable product or service. Without that information, you are at a disadvantage.

Stop spending you money on get RICH quick programs and invest in growing your skills. If you don't have a list yet or your list of clients is not responding to you, then join us in the Inner Circle Club and stay there for 6 months to a year.

There are other mentors in the field of business, spirituality, and every other subject possible here to serve your every wish. Find someone with whom you resonate and invest your time in making it happen.

#4 Settling For Decisions That Aren't Right For You!
Here's a BIG one for us women. Your instincts suggest what to do next. However, we second guess or allow ourselves to persuade us to do something we don't feel is the best choice, but we do it anyways.

Is there a pressing decision that is holding you back?
My suggestion is to focus on the positive thoughts around what you want. Then you'll want to face the challenging conversation to let go of what's not working and stick with the road that leads in the direction of your dreams.

As you get comfortable with making decisions quickly, you'll see more instant results of what you want appear. It's in the holding back that things get confusing for you, so commit to yourself to test the waters and let it FLOW!

For the past three years, Shanda has focused solely on creating opportunities for women mixes spiritual strategy with time tested proven online tools to establish successful business. Many of her clients reach a six figure income in short of just a few months.

Find out how you can make more money in just 7 Days... http://heartcorewomen.com/

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What To Do With Ingrown Hair?

There's nothing more irritating than ingrown hair, especially if it's in your sensitive or intimate body part. It can be itchy, sore and awkward in all the wrong places. Nothing's worse than feeling that itch at a dinner party, while the guest of honor is speaking and looking straight at you when you want nothing more than to be in the privacy of your bathroom, scratching away like there's no tomorrow to make it all better.

The solutions to ingrown hair problem lies on various methods from easy treatments and professional service to simple, no-fuss prevention.

The Right Shave

For most people, ingrown hair stems from improper or incorrect shaving technique. Now, if you run the razor near the hair it'll shave some off and it's very hard to get that part wrong, but there is a way to minimize the damage it can cause. Aiming for a close and ultra-clean shave might actually cause the problem. Instead, shave along the hair, not against and most definitely, not across. Doing this is almost as bad as shaving the same spot repeatedly.

Throw Away The Tighties

For those who enjoy tight clothing, here's some bad news. Tight clothes are not only uncomfortable and very restricting, it can also cause ingrown hair problems. Can't believe it? Here's a logical explanation to convince you - if your hair isn't compressed against your body most of the time, the chances of getting an ingrown hair drop. This is especially true if you happen to be post bikini wax. Squeezing your privates with a tight pair might give you an infection. So why not don comfy, loose clothing once in a while to give your skin some breathing space especially if you've just had a goodbye-hair day of waxing or shaving.

Clean-Up Crew: If the Damage is Already Done

If you're already suffering from ingrown hairs, well, tough. Don't lose heart though because there's still something you can do about it. You can apply a warm or heated moist towel on the trouble area to steam it. After doing so, exfoliate the skin using a loofah, a soft cloth or a mild body scrub. This will usually expose the offending hair, allowing you to shave it better. Just make sure that you don't scrub too hard as it might cause ungodly reactions such as skin reddening, rash, irritation and even skin darkening in the long run. Go easy on the loofah action.

A bit of a worse case might demand the help of a friend or an accomplice. Some ingrown hairs start out deep in the skin, making them difficult to spot. For this situation, plucking is the answer. You'll need needle-nosed tweezers as your weapon against ingrown hair. Make sure first that the tweezers are properly sterilized to avoid bacterial infection especially if you have sensitive skin. You need to pull out the offending hair one by one. Expect that this can be difficult especially if you're all shaky and sweaty but it's one of the more convenient methods. After finishing an area, it's a good idea to cleanse the spot again and then proceed to shave it if you still aim for a smoother finish.

A needle is a perfectly workable substitute, though one that demands more finesse. Standard tweezers are out of the question however. They can cause more damage than you think as they can painfully pinch the skin as you're attempting to pull out the stubborn ingrown hair.

Protect Yourself

For some people it's not a matter of proper shaving habits or the like, but a matter of genetics. It ain't their fault their DNA make-up includes "hairy" on the list. It is advisable to apply a healthy amount of anti-septic to the area after shaving to further control their ingrown hairs.

There are more solutions to the ingrown hair situation such as specific treatments like laser that target hair removal and buffering ingrown hairs, particularly helpful for those who don't have the manual dexterity to finagle the hair out of its hidey hole or those who lack in patience and perseverance. Ingrown hairs can be real stubborn, mind you. They stick it out for the long haul and they'll never go away unless you do something about it.

If none of the DIY methods work or if it begins to hurt far too much, don't be afraid to see a dermatologist and get it checked out. I'm 100% certain no woman in her right mind wants something infected anywhere near her bajingo. It just ain't right, honey.

Want to know the 15 secrets supermodels and makeup artists are trying to keep to themselves? Discover their best secrets here.

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Women's Worth

Tears rolled down my face after reading the news that a rural woman was murdered because her family was unable to provide the television and buffalo for her dowry. By the time the crime was reported her husband and in-laws had already escaped from the village. This is not the first time I read such news. But this time I asked myself what the groom's family got after she died. The answer, of course, is nothing. So what was the worth of this murder? Even worse, for every report like this that we read in the news, there are probably many more that never come to light.

Two years back there was a marriage ceremony planned in my neighbourhood. Everything was prepared and just four or five days remained before the wedding when the groom's family demanded a motorcycle and some jewelry. The bride's family had no choice but to fulfill the demands made at the 11th hour. As both families were educated residents of Kathmandu, such demands could be met and the crisis that befell the poor bride mentioned earlier averted. Still, one has to be surprised that such dowry demands are even made by the educated of Kathmandu. The system seems to be prevalent everywhere, but different economic and social circumstances determine how it plays out.

Traditionally, parents used to give something like fuli, earrings or, some land if they have it, to their daughter before her marriage so that she could use these things when in need. The concept of dowry developed from these origins. But the dowry system has evolved as our communities have.

The fear of dowry has now become so great that many parents can no longer feel joy at the birth of a daughter. I have even heard that if the groom is a doctor or engineer, the bride's family has to pay the amount spent on his studies as a dowry. This is a consideration for parents in deciding when their daughter should marry. Better to do so young, before the groom has a chance to earn such an expensive degree.

I am a girl. There is no denying that I will one day get married. So which material thing should I compare my life with? A television? A motorcycle? Jewelry? Or is my life worth the buffalo that cost the young bride hers?

Why are a woman's education, skills and achievements not counted as part of the dowry her family pays to the family of the groom? Why must the couple's happiness depend on what material things she can collect from her maternal home? Why must women continue to belittle their worth and risk their lives in the name of dowry? In time, a couple can buy a television, a motorcycle or even a buffalo. But we can't return value to a life lost.

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Super Woman Vs Happy Woman

Are healthy boundaries possible being a woman?

It's hard to imagine that you could possibly put yourself first when there are so many things to get done. How do some women balance business, love, and children and still have a pulse at the end of the day?

This has been the theme of almost every coaching call last week. Women are screaming for relief from the worlds demands.

I spoke to a client today, who alarmingly told me, that she and her friends have decided that they no don't want to take care of another man again. They are happy to be alone.

Is this really what we have to look forward to? A life alone.

Let's analyze what has caused our conditioning from a place of responsibility!
• Stage 1 - when a woman is single she typically puts her career first.
• Stage 2 - when she is in love, she often makes her mate a priority over her own needs.
• Stage 3 - when she has children her babies become her focal point.

So for your entire life you have been practicing coming in second place!

Times are changing fast!

You may be feeling the pull to take care of yourself? And, here is why!

Energetically women are being called forward to bathe themselves in an abundance of self love. They are being prepared to hold the context for the masculine to do what they need to do.

Now don't take this as a reason to put up walls because that is not what I am talking about at all. When you take care of yourself first, you have what it takes to play a bigger game. Women are gathering all over the planet with courage and self worth.

My suggestion to you if you so want it, is to let go and nurture you.

Here are some steps to love you up and still get it all done!

#1 Start your day with self love
When you get up in the morning make the first 30 minutes your time. Do what you love to do. Paint, dance, garden. Do whatever makes your heart sing. (Please do not use this as time to get more done). This is your love you time!

#2 Joint Venture's for women
Run your life like a business. Only do the things that you want to do and find a way to get support on the other details. It's amazing that when you stop saying 'I can't' how many options open up in your space. If you can't get out of your own way then go ask your friends for advice.

#3 Be Flexible
When you feel like you have to get things done you can easily drop into a ridged mentality. What I know for sure is that nobody feels the love when they are ridged. Everything becomes hard and people do not want to be around you. Let go and let God. Have some fun with seeing where life goes when you follow other peoples lead. Let it go, it's not the end of the world!

Here's to you finding healthy boundaries and still getting it done!

I want to know how it goes when you try one of these steps, or what steps do you already do that create the that love time?

For the past two years, Shanda has focused solely on creating opportunities for women (both individually and by creating 'sisterhoods') using her business expertise in applying cutting edge tools and key principles proven in successful business.

She is also a highly sought after life coach and speaker specializing in women's interests and issues. She travels the globe assisting individuals, companies, and large groups.

Make more money with Shanda's Make More Money 7 Day Website Training http://www.heartcorewomen.com/

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Stress at Work: Tips to Reduce and Manage Job and Workplace Stress

For workers everywhere, the troubled economy may feel like an emotional roller coaster. "Layoffs" and "budget cuts" have become bywords in the workplace, and the result is increased fear, uncertainty, and higher levels of stress. Since job and workplace stress increase in times of economic crisis, it’s important to learn new and better ways of coping with the pressure.

The ability to manage stress in the workplace can not only improve your physical and emotional health, it can also make the difference between success or failure on the job. Your emotions are contagious, and stress has an impact on the quality of your interactions with others. The better you are at managing your own stress, the more you'll positively affect those around you, and the less other people's stress will negatively affect you.

There are a variety of steps you can take to reduce both your overall stress levels and the stress you find on the job and in the workplace. These include:

Taking responsibility for improving your physical and emotional well-being. Avoiding pitfalls by identifying knee jerk habits and negative attitudes that add to the stress you experience at work. Learning better communication skills to ease and improve your relationships with management and coworkers.

When you feel overwhelmed at work, you lose confidence and may become irritable or withdrawn. This can make you less productive and less effective in your job, and make the work seem less rewarding. If you ignore the warning signs of work stress, they can lead to bigger problems. Beyond interfering with job performance and satisfaction, chronic or intense stress can also lead to physical and emotional health problems.

Feeling anxious, irritable, or depressedApathy, loss of interest in workProblems sleeping FatigueTrouble concentratingMuscle tension or headachesStomach problems Social withdrawalLoss of sex driveUsing alcohol or drugs to cope Fear of being laid off More overtime due to staff cutbacks Pressure to perform to meet rising expectations but with no increase in job satisfactionPressure to work at optimum levels – all the time!

When stress at work interferes with your ability to perform in your job, manage your personal life, or adversely impacts your health, it’s time to take action. Start by paying attention to your physical and emotional health. When your own needs are taken care of, you’re stronger and more resilient to stress. The better you feel, the better equipped you’ll be to manage work stress without becoming overwhelmed.

Taking care of yourself doesn’t require a total lifestyle overhaul. Even small things can lift your mood, increase your energy, and make you feel like you’re back in the driver’s seat. Take things one step at a time, and as you make more positive lifestyle choices, you’ll soon notice a reduction in your stress levels, both at home and at work.

Aerobic exercise—activity that raises your heart rate and makes you sweat—is a hugely effective way to lift your mood, increase energy, sharpen focus, and relax both the mind and body. For maximum stress relief, try to get at least 30 minutes of heart-pounding activity on most days. If it’s easier to fit into your schedule, break up the activity into two or three shorter segments.

Low blood sugar can make you feel anxious and irritable, while eating too much can make you lethargic. By eating small but frequent meals throughout the day, you can help your body maintain an even level of blood sugar and avoid these swings in mood. Learn more.

Alcohol temporarily reduces anxiety and worry, but too much can cause anxiety as it wears off. Drinking to relieve job stress may also eventually lead to alcohol abuse and dependence. Similarly, smoking when you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed may seem calming, but nicotine is a powerful stimulant – leading to higher, not lower, levels of anxiety.

Not only can stress and worry can cause insomnia, but a lack of sleep can leave you vulnerable to even more stress. When you're well-rested, it's much easier to keep your emotional balance, a key factor in coping with job and workplace stress. Learn more.

When job and workplace stress threatens to overwhelm you, there are simple steps you can take to regain control over yourself and the situation. Your newfound ability to maintain a sense of self-control in stressful situations will often be well-received by coworkers, managers, and subordinates alike, which can lead to better relationships at work. Here are some suggestions for reducing job stress by prioritizing and organizing your responsibilities.

Create a balanced schedule. Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. All work and no play is a recipe for burnout. Try to find a balance between work and family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, daily responsibilities and downtime.Don’t over-commit yourself. Avoid scheduling things back-to-back or trying to fit too much into one day. All too often, we underestimate how long things will take. If you've got too much on your plate, distinguish between the "shoulds" and the "musts." Drop tasks that aren't truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.Try to leave earlier in the morning. Even 10-15 minutes can make the difference between frantically rushing to your desk and having time to ease into your day. Don’t add to your stress levels by running late.Plan regular breaks. Make sure to take short breaks throughout the day to take a walk or sit back and clear your mind. Also try to get away from your desk or work station for lunch. Stepping away from work to briefly relax and recharge will help you be more, not less, productive.Prioritize tasks. Make a list of tasks you have to do, and tackle them in order of importance. Do the high-priority items first. If you have something particularly unpleasant to do, get it over with early. The rest of your day will be more pleasant as a result.Break projects into small steps. If a large project seems overwhelming, make a step-by-step plan. Focus on one manageable step at a time, rather than taking on everything at once.Delegate responsibility. You don’t have to do it all yourself. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control or oversee every little step. You’ll be letting go of unnecessary stress in the process.Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to contribute differently to a task, revise a deadline, or change their behavior at work, be willing to do the same. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned.

Even if you’re in a job where the environment has grown increasingly stressful, you can retain a large measure of self-control and self-confidence by understanding and practicing emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage and use your emotions in positive and constructive ways. When it comes to satisfaction and success at work, emotional intelligence matters just as much as intellectual ability. Emotional intelligence is about communicating with others in ways that draw people to you, overcome differences, repair wounded feelings, and defuse tension and stress.

Emotional intelligence in the workplace has four major components:

Self-awareness – The ability to recognize your emotions and their impact while using gut feelings to guide your decisions.Self-management – The ability to control your emotions and behavior and adapt to changing circumstances.Social awareness – The ability to sense, understand, and react to other's emotions and feel comfortable socially.Relationship management – The ability to inspire, influence, and connect to others and manage conflict.

There are five key skills that you need to master in order to raise your emotional intelligence and manage stress at work.

Realize when you’re stressed, recognize your particular stress response, and become familiar with sensual cues that can rapidly calm and energize you. The best way to reduce stress quickly is through the senses: through sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you.Stay connected to your internal emotional experience so you can appropriately manage your own emotions. Your moment-to-moment emotions influence your thoughts and actions, so pay attention to your feelings and factor them into your decision making at work. If you ignore your emotions you won’t be able to fully understand your own motivations and needs, or to communicate effectively with others.Recognize and effectively use the nonverbal cues that make up 95-98% of our communication process. In many cases, what we say is less important than how we say it or the other nonverbal signals we send out, such as eye contact, facial expression, tone of voice, posture, gesture and touch. Your nonverbal messages can either produce a sense of interest, trust, and desire for connection–or they can generate confusion, distrust, and stress. You also need to be able to accurately read and respond to the nonverbal cues that other people send you at work.Develop the capacity to meet challenges with humor. There is no better stress buster than a hearty laugh and nothing reduces stress quicker in the workplace than mutually shared humor. But, if the laugh is at someone else’s expense, you may end up with more rather than less stress.Resolve conflict positively. Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can strengthen trust between people and diffuse workplace stress and tension. When handling emotionally-charged situations, stay focused in the present by disregarding old hurts and resentments, connect with your emotions, and hear both the words and the nonverbal cues being used. If a conflict can’t be resolved, choose to end the argument, even if you still disagree.

As you learn to manage your job stress and improve your work relationships, you’ll have more control over your ability to think clearly and act appropriately. You will be able to break habits that add to your stress at work – and you’ll even be able to change negative ways of thinking about things that only add to your stress.

Many of us make job stress worse with negative thoughts and behavior. If you can turn around these self-defeating habits, you’ll find employer-imposed stress easier to handle. Resist perfectionism. No project, situation, or decision is ever perfect, so trying to attain perfection on everything will simply add unnecessary stress to your day. When you set unrealistic goals for yourself or try to do too much, you’re setting yourself up to fall short. Aim to do your best, no one can ask for more than that.Clean up your act. If you’re always running late, set your clocks and watches fast and give yourself extra time. If your desk is a mess, file and throw away the clutter; just knowing where everything is saves time and cuts stress. Make to-do lists and cross off items as you accomplish them. Plan your day and stick to the schedule — you’ll feel less overwhelmed.Flip your negative thinking. If you see the downside of every situation and interaction, you’ll find yourself drained of energy and motivation. Try to think positively about your work, avoid negative-thinking co-workers, and pat yourself on the back about small accomplishments, even if no one else does.Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things at work are beyond our control— particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
Take time away. When stress is mounting at work, try to take a quick break and move away from the stressful situation. Take a stroll outside the workplace if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating in the break room. Physical movement or finding a quiet place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.Talk it over with someone. In some situations, simply sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust can help reduce stress. Talking over a problem with someone who is both supportive and empathetic can be a great way to let off steam and relieve stress.Connect with others at work. Developing friendships with some of your co-workers can help buffer you from the negative effects of stress. Remember to listen to them and offer support when they are in need as well.Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to diffuse stress in the workplace. When you or those around you start taking things too seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or funny story.

It's in a manager's best interest to keep stress levels in the workplace to a minimum. Managers can act as positive role models, especially in times of high stress, by following the tips outlined in this article. If a respected manager can remain calm in stressful work situations, it is much easier for his or her employees to also remain calm.

Additionally, there are a number of organizational changes that managers and employers can make to reduce workplace stress. These include:

Share information with employees to reduce uncertainty about their jobs and futures.Clearly define employees’ roles and responsibilities.Make communication friendly and efficient, not mean-spirited or petty.Give workers opportunities to participate in decisions that affect their jobs.Consult employees about scheduling and work rules.Be sure the workload is suitable to employees’ abilities and resources; avoid unrealistic deadlines.Show that individual workers are valued.Offer rewards and incentives.Praise good work performance, both verbally and officially, through schemes such as Employee of the Month.Provide opportunities for career development.Promote an “entrepreneurial” work climate that gives employees more control over their work.Provide opportunities for social interaction among employees.Establish a zero-tolerance policy for harassment.Make management actions consistent with organizational values.

STRESS … At Work – Highlights current knowledge about the causes of stress at work and outlines steps that can be taken to prevent it. (National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health)

Stress at Work– Advisory booklet offers help and advice for anyone dealing with job and workplace stress. (Acas)

Workplace Stress – Describes the signs, causes, and effects of stress in general and on the job, and how management and employees can deal with workplace stress. (Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety)

Stress in the Workplace: A Costly Epidemic – Delineates the causes and costs of workplace stress and also includes ideas for coping with stress on the job. Includes warning signs of stress (to the left of the article). (Fairleigh Dickinson University)

Stress Management – Document by England’s Chartered Management Institute covers job stress management and quick stress reduction tips. (businessballs.com)

Managing Job Stress: 10 Strategies for Coping and Thriving at Work – From a career advice and job-search site, describing stress management techniques for the workplace. (Quintessential Careers)

Stress in the Workplace – Workplace stress from the employee’s point of view; gives suggestions for gaining control over some aspects of one’s job. (American Psychological Association)

Managing Job Stress – Readable, employee-centered site providing a wealth of strategies for reducing workplace stress. (Portland Community College)

Reducing Occupational Stress – Guide for managers and supervisors on how to make changes in the workplace to reduce stress. (Job Stress Network)

Reducing Stress in the Workplace – Presented from management’s point of view, this article offers strategies for stress reduction that benefit employees and corporations alike. (The Institute for Management Excellence)

Authors: Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Robert Segal, M.A. Last updated: October 2011

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Relaxation Techniques for Stress Relief: Finding The Relaxation Exercises That Work For You

Stress is necessary for life. You need stress for creativity, learning, and your very survival. Stress is only harmful when it becomes overwhelming and interrupts the healthy state of equilibrium that your nervous system needs to remain in balance. Unfortunately, overwhelming stress has become an increasingly common characteristic of contemporary life. When stressors throw your nervous system out of balance, relaxation techniques can bring it back into a balanced state by producing the relaxation response, a state of deep calmness that is the polar opposite of the stress response.

When stress overwhelms your nervous system your body is flooded with chemicals that prepare you for “fight or flight”. While the stress response can be lifesaving in emergency situations where you need to act quickly, it wears your body down when constantly activated by the stresses of everyday life. The relaxation response puts the brakes on this heightened state of readiness and brings your body and mind back into a state of equilibrium.

A variety of different relaxation techniques can help you bring your nervous system back into balance by producing the relaxation response. The relaxation response is not lying on the couch or sleeping but a mentally active process that leaves the body relaxed, calm, and focused.

Learning the basics of these relaxation techniques isn’t difficult, but it does take practice. Most stress experts recommend setting aside at least 10 to 20 minutes a day for your relaxation practice. If you’d like to get even more stress relief, aim for 30 minutes to an hour. If that sounds like a daunting commitment, remember that many of these techniques can be incorporated into your existing daily schedule—practiced at your desk over lunch or on the bus during your morning commute.

There is no single relaxation technique that is best for everyone. When choosing a relaxation technique, consider your specific needs, preferences, fitness level, and the way you tend to react to stress. The right relaxation technique is the one that resonates with you, fits your lifestyle, and is able to focus your mind and interrupt your everyday thoughts in order to elicit the relaxation response. In many cases, you may find that alternating or combining different techniques will keep you motivated and provide you with the best results.

How you react to stress may influence the relaxation technique that works best for you:

You tend to become angry, agitated, or keyed up under stress
You may respond best to relaxation techniques that quiet you down, such as meditation, deep breathing, or guided imagery
You tend to become depressed, withdrawn, or spaced out under stress
You may respond best to relaxation techniques that are stimulating and that energize your nervous system, such as rhythmic exercise
Frozen (both overexcited and under excited at the same time – like pressing on the brakes and gas simultaneously)
You tend to freeze: speeding up in some ways while slowing down in others
Your challenge is to identify relaxation techniques that provide both safety and stimulation to help you “reboot” your system. Techniques such as mindfulness walking or power yoga might work well for you
If you crave solitude, solo relaxation techniques such as meditation or progressive muscle relaxation will give you the space to quiet your mind and recharge your batteries. If you crave social interaction, a class setting will give you the stimulation and support you’re looking for. Practicing with others may also help you stay motivated.

With its focus on full, cleansing breaths, deep breathing is a simple, yet powerful, relaxation technique. It’s easy to learn, can be practiced almost anywhere, and provides a quick way to get your stress levels in check. Deep breathing is the cornerstone of many other relaxation practices, too, and can be combined with other relaxing elements such as aromatherapy and music. All you really need is a few minutes and a place to stretch out.

The key to deep breathing is to breathe deeply from the abdomen, getting as much fresh air as possible in your lungs. When you take deep breaths from the abdomen, rather than shallow breaths from your upper chest, you inhale more oxygen. The more oxygen you get, the less tense, short of breath, and anxious you feel.

Sit comfortably with your back straight. Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. Breathe in through your nose. The hand on your stomach should rise. The hand on your chest should move very little. Exhale through your mouth, pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal muscles. The hand on your stomach should move in as you exhale, but your other hand should move very little. Continue to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to inhale enough so that your lower abdomen rises and falls. Count slowly as you exhale.

If you find it difficult breathing from your abdomen while sitting up, try lying on the floor. Put a small book on your stomach, and try to breathe so that the book rises as you inhale and falls as you exhale.

Progressive muscle relaxation involves a two-step process in which you systematically tense and relax different muscle groups in the body.
With regular practice, progressive muscle relaxation gives you an intimate familiarity with what tension—as well as complete relaxation—feels like in different parts of the body. This awareness helps you spot and counteract the first signs of the muscular tension that accompanies stress. And as your body relaxes, so will your mind. You can combine deep breathing with progressive muscle relaxation for an additional level of stress relief.

Before practicing Progressive Muscle Relaxation, consult with your doctor if you have a history of muscle spasms, back problems, or other serious injuries that may be aggravated by tensing muscles.

Most progressive muscle relaxation practitioners start at the feet and work their way up to the face. For a sequence of muscle groups to follow, see the box below.

Loosen your clothing, take off your shoes, and get comfortable. Take a few minutes to relax, breathing in and out in slow, deep breaths. When you’re relaxed and ready to start, shift your attention to your right foot. Take a moment to focus on the way it feels. Slowly tense the muscles in your right foot, squeezing as tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10. Relax your right foot. Focus on the tension flowing away and the way your foot feels as it becomes limp and loose. Stay in this relaxed state for a moment, breathing deeply and slowly. When you’re ready, shift your attention to your left foot. Follow the same sequence of muscle tension and release. Move slowly up through your body, contracting and relaxing the muscle groups as you go. It may take some practice at first, but try not to tense muscles other than those intended.

The most popular sequence runs as follows:

Right foot*Left foot Right calf Left calf Right thigh Left thigh Hips and buttocks Stomach Chest Back Right arm and hand Left arm and hand Neck and shoulders Face
* If you are left-handed you may want to begin with your left foot instead.
A body scan is similar to progressive muscle relaxation except, instead of tensing and relaxing muscles, you simply focus on the sensations in each part of your body.

Lie on your back, legs uncrossed, arms relaxed at your sides, eyes open or closed. Focus on your breathing , allowing your stomach to rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale. Breathe deeply for about two minutes, until you start to feel comfortable and relaxed. Turn your focus to the toes of your right foot. Notice any sensations you feel while continuing to also focus on your breathing. Imagine each deep breath flowing to your toes. Remain focused on this area for one to two minutes. Move your focus to the sole of your right foot. Tune in to any sensations you feel in that part of your body and imagine each breath flowing from the sole of your foot. After one or two minutes, move your focus to your right ankle and repeat. Move to your calf, knee, thigh, hip, and then repeat the sequence for your left leg. From there, move up the torso, through the lower back and abdomen, the upper back and chest, and the shoulders. Pay close attention to any area of the body that causes you pain or discomfort. Move your focus to the fingers on your right hand and then move up to the wrist,  forearm, elbow, upper arm, and shoulder. Repeat for your left arm. Then move through the neck and throat, and finally all the regions of your face, the back of the head, and the top of the head. Pay close attention to your jaw, chin, lips, tongue, nose, cheeks, eyes, forehead, temples and scalp. When you reach the very top of your head, let your breath reach out beyond your body and imagine yourself hovering above yourself.  After completing the body scan, relax for a while in silence and stillness, noting how your body feels. Then open your eyes slowly. Take a moment to stretch, if necessary.

For a guided body scan meditation, see the Resources section below.


Learn more about how to be aware of your moment-to-moment experience.
Read Article by Harvard Health Publications
Mindfulness is the ability to remain aware of how you’re feeling right now, your “moment-to-moment” experience—both internal and external. Thinking about the past—blaming and judging yourself—or worrying about the future can often lead to a degree of stress that is overwhelming. But by staying calm and focused in the present moment, you can bring your nervous system back into balance. Mindfulness can be applied to activities such as walking, exercising, eating, or meditation.

Meditations that cultivate mindfulness have long been used to reduce overwhelming stress. Some of these meditations bring you into the present by focusing your attention on a single repetitive action, such as your breathing, a few repeated words, or flickering light from a candle. Other forms of mindfulness meditation encourage you to follow and then release internal thoughts or sensations.

Key points in mindfulness mediation are:

A quiet environment. Choose a secluded place in your home, office, garden, place of worship, or in the great outdoors where you can relax without distractions or interruptions.A comfortable position. Get comfortable, but avoid lying down as this may lead to you falling asleep. Sit up with your spine straight, either in a chair or on the floor. You can also try a cross-legged or lotus position. A point of focus. This point can be internal – a feeling or imaginary scene – or something external - a flame or meaningful word or phrase that you repeat it throughout your session. You may meditate with eyes open or closed. Also choose to focus on an object in your surroundings to enhance your concentration, or alternately, you can close your eyes. An observant, noncritical attitude. Don’t worry about distracting thoughts that go through your mind or about how well you’re doing. If thoughts intrude during your relaxation session, don’t fight them. Instead, gently turn your attention back to your point of focus.
Visualization, or guided imagery, is a variation on traditional meditation that requires you to employ not only your visual sense, but also your sense of taste, touch, smell, and sound. When used as a relaxation technique, visualization involves imagining a scene in which you feel at peace, free to let go of all tension and anxiety.

Choose whatever setting is most calming to you, whether it’s a tropical beach, a favorite childhood spot, or a quiet wooded glen. You can do this visualization exercise on your own in silence, while listening to soothing music, or with a therapist (or an audio recording of a therapist) guiding you through the imagery. To help you employ your sense of hearing you can use a sound machine or download sounds that match your chosen setting—the sound of ocean waves if you’ve chosen a beach, for example.

Find a quiet, relaxed place. Beginners sometimes fall asleep during a visualization meditation, so you might try sitting up or standing.
Close your eyes and let your worries drift away. Imagine your restful place. Picture it as vividly as you can—everything you can see, hear, smell, and feel. Visualization works best if you incorporate as many sensory details as possible, using at least three of your senses. When visualizing, choose imagery that appeals to you; don’t select images because someone else suggests them, or because you think they should be appealing. Let your own images come up and work for you.

If you are thinking about a dock on a quiet lake, for example:
Walk slowly around the dock and notice the colors and textures around you. Spend some time exploring each of your senses. See the sun setting over the water. Hear the birds singing. Smell the pine trees. Feel the cool water on your bare feet. Taste the fresh, clean air.

Enjoy the feeling of deep relaxation that envelopes you as you slowly explore your restful place. When you are ready, gently open your eyes and come back to the present.

Don't worry if you sometimes zone out or lose track of where you are during a guided imagery session.  This is normal. You may also experience feelings of stiffness or heaviness in your limbs, minor, involuntary muscle-movements, or even cough or yawn. Again, these are normal responses.

Yoga involves a series of both moving and stationary poses, combined with deep breathing. As well as reducing anxiety and stress, yoga can also improve flexibility, strength, balance, and stamina. Practiced regularly, it can also strengthen the relaxation response in your daily life. Since injuries can happen when yoga is practiced incorrectly, it’s best to learn by attending group classes, hiring a private teacher, or at least following video instructions.

Although almost all yoga classes end in a relaxation pose, classes that emphasize slow, steady movement, deep breathing, and gentle stretching are best for stress relief.

Satyananda is a traditional form of yoga. It features gentle poses, deep relaxation, and meditation, making it suitable for beginners as well as anyone primarily looking for stress reduction.Hatha yoga is also reasonably gentle way to relieve stress and is suitable for beginners. Alternately, look for labels like gentle, for stress relief, or for beginners when selecting a yoga class.Power yoga, with its intense poses and focus on fitness, is better suited to those looking for stimulation as well as relaxation.
If you’re unsure whether a specific yoga class is appropriate for stress relief, call the studio or ask the teacher.

If you’ve ever seen a group of people in the park slowly moving in synch, you’ve probably witnessed tai chi. Tai chi is a self-paced, non-competitive series of slow, flowing body movements. These movements emphasize concentration, relaxation, and the conscious circulation of vital energy throughout the body. Though tai chi has its roots in martial arts, today it is primarily practiced as a way of calming the mind, conditioning the body, and reducing stress. As in meditation, tai chi practitioners focus on their breathing and keeping their attention in the present moment.

Tai chi is a safe, low-impact option for people of all ages and levels of fitness, including older adults and those recovering from injuries. Like yoga, once you’ve learned the basics of tai chi or qi gong, you can practice alone or with others, tailoring your sessions as you see fit.

The popular relaxation techniques of yoga and tai chi benefit from training that helps ensure you are correctly performing the poses and movements.
Learn more: Tips on How to Practice Yoga and Tai Chi
The best way to start and maintain a relaxation practice is to incorporate it into your daily routine. Between work, family, school, and other commitments, though, it can be tough for many people to find the time. Fortunately, many of the techniques can be practiced while you’re doing other things.

Rhythmic exercise—such as running, walking, rowing, or cycling—is most effective at relieving stress when performed with relaxation in mind. As with meditation, mindfulness requires being fully engaged in the present moment, focusing your mind on how your body feels right now. As you exercise, focus on the physicality of your body’s movement and how your breathing complements that movement. If your mind wanders to other thoughts, gently return to focusing on your breathing and movement.

If walking or running, for example, focus on each step—the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your breath while moving, and the feeling of the wind against your face.

If possible, schedule a set time to practice each day. Set aside one or two periods each day. You may find that it’s easier to stick with your practice if you do it first thing in the morning, before other tasks and responsibilities get in the way. Practice relaxation techniques while you’re doing other things. Meditate while commuting to work on a bus or train, or waiting for a dentist appointment. Try deep breathing while you’re doing housework or mowing the lawn. Mindfulness walking can be done while exercising your dog, walking to your car, or climbing the stairs at work instead of using the elevator. Once you’ve learned techniques such as tai chi, you can practice them in your office or in the park at lunchtime. If you exercise, improve the relaxation benefits by adopting mindfulness. Instead of zoning out or staring at a TV as you exercise, try focusing your attention on your body. If you’re resistance training, for example, focus on coordinating your breathing with your movements and pay attention to how your body feels as you raise and lower the weights. Avoid practicing when you’re sleepy. These techniques can relax you so much that they can make you very sleepy, especially if it’s close to bedtime. You will get the most benefit if you practice when you’re fully awake and alert. Do not practice after eating a heavy meal or while using drugs, tobacco, or alcohol.Expect ups and downs. Don’t be discouraged if you skip a few days or even a few weeks. It happens. Just get started again and slowly build up to your old momentum.

You Really Need to Relax: Effective Methods (PDF) – Includes progressive muscle relaxation and relaxation through visual imagery. (University of Michigan Health Center)
Body Scan Meditation – How body scan meditation can help you achieve a clearer mind and improve your concentration. (ABC-of-Yoga.com)
Guided Body Scan Meditation – Free 10-minute body scan meditation that can also be downloaded for use on an MP3 player. (MeditationCoach.com)
Audio Relaxation Tracks – A selection of audio relaxation exercises from the University of Texas Counseling and Mental Health Center. Download the tracks at the bottom of the page or access the individual exercises here:
Mindful Meditation Audio Exercises – Offers free mindful meditations available to play online or as an mp3 download. Depending on your browser, these may be easy or challenging to access. (UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center)
Yoga – Introduction to the different types of yoga and how to begin practicing it. (Nemours Foundation)
Tai Chi 24 Forms Video Clip – Watch a video clip illustrating the practice of tai chi. (Youtube.com) Authors: Lawrence Robinson, Robert Segal, M.A., Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Melinda Smith, M.A. Last updated: August 2011.
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Discover The Secrets To Losing Weight After Pregnancy

Hi, how are you?

If you have recently become a mother, congratulations on your new family member, and a very warm welcome to you.

Are you looking for a plan to help you lose weight after pregnancy? New mothers have an especially hard time losing weight after pregnancy because they have to do double duty by getting in shape and looking after the new family member. I see celebreties in magazines get their figures back in no time flat, but they have an unfair advantage.

Your time is precious and you are often tired, so is losing weight really possible?

Well yes, it is. With a little help from your friends. We have a few tips and tricks for you so you can lose weight after pregnancy without collapsing into a puddle on the floor. So read the article and then take a few minutes to plan your attack.

Make Time for You

As you know, this is easy to say and not so easy to do, but you can't do your bes t job taking care of your baby unless you also take care of yourself. Taking some time out to get your figure back is included here. I know it can seem unfeasible to find half an hour or an hour a day for exercise.

Get your spouse, partner, a friend or relative, to keep an eye on the little one while you work out. Some health and fitness centers have infant care facilities. If neither of those work for you, maybe you could coincide your workouts with the baby's snooze times.

Dance is a great choice here. You can dance while you keep one eye on your baby so you won't lose any time, you will charge your batteries and feel good about yourself.

Don't forget the old saying, "Well I don't know, but I've been told, if you keep on dancing you'll never get old".

Have a good stretch before you start so you loosen up your muscles, put on the radio, or an upbeat cd and off you go. It doesn't matter if you're not an expert dancer, your baby won 't tell anyone, so leap about with gay abandon and have fun.

This is no time for for Dido or Mozart though. You have to get a bit sweaty.

Near the end of the session you might want to play some more gentle music as a cool-down period, maybe holding your baby and dancing along together.

You can see how this is a fun way to lose pregnancy weight.
Music is important during pregnancy too. If nothing else will soothe your baby when s/he is upset or during a crying attack, the music you liked listening to while you were expecting may do the trick. I have a friend whose little daughter is soothed by heavy metal because that's what she is used to hearing, and another friend who has to play Tom Waits to her nearly 2-year-old boy.

Try to do 30 minute exercise sessions, but if you absolutely can not, 20 minutes will have to do.

Eat Nutritious Foods

If you want to lose weight after pregnancy, you need to get a decent amount of calories each day. If you breastfeed, you'll need around 1800-2000 calories daily, because breastfeeding uses a lot of energy. As you possibly know, women who breastfeed for 6 months or more regain their figure more rapidly. If you're not, you'll need less, maybe around 1200-1500. If you get enough calories your metabolic rate will remain high, which is desirable for efficiient weight loss and avoids you going into survival mode.

Of course these are very approximate averages, and to get an exact number for your body it's a good idea to have a word with your doctor or go to an online BMI/calorie chart, like http://www.bmi-calculator.net.

Fill up on junky foods, which have little or no nutritional value, and neither of you will be properly nourished. Inferior food makes inferior milk that is less than ideal for your baby. Poor nourishment will cause your metabolic rate to take a dive dragging your enegy level down with it, and this means weight gain, not loss.

Eat small, appetizer-sized amounts of food frequently. Do your best to eat something nutritious every 2-3 hours. Getting enough calcium is important and good sources are dark green vegetables such as spinach, kale and broccoli, and low-fat dairy products. Calcium is great for kicking your fat-burning metabolism into top gear. Also in clude fresh fruits, lean protein, and whole grain products.

Exercising with Your Baby

This doesn't have to be a lonely task. You can lose weight after pregnancy while having fun with your baby. Join an online weight-loss group to connect with other new mothers in your area who might want to join you for walks or swimming with the little ones. Some health centers have classes for mother and baby. If your local center doesn't offer anything suitable, maybe you could suggest they start one

If private time is more to your liking, go out for 30 minutes brisk walk, or jog, with baby in the stroller. To keep it interesting, mix up your routes or destinations. The park, the mall, the zoo, a friend's place etc. When the little guy begins walking properly you take them to a playground or park and join in the child's play.

Support from Friends, Family and Loved Ones

If you can get support from othe rs at this time it's a big help. Losing weight after pregnancy is too demanding for a lot of mothers to go it alone. Whether they provide babysitting service or a morale boost, friends and family can play a crucial role in your success. As Mick and Keith said, "We all need someone we can lean on ..."

It's also important to connect with other new mothers who are facing the same difficulties as you. Discovering what their troubles are, and their solutions to them, can be very good for your morale. You can contribute your own coping mechanisms. Discovering that you're not alone can take a great weight off your shoulders

Get a Good Night's Sleep

I know, you just fell off the chair laughing. Insufficient sleep can cause physical and emotional problems.

'Studies' reveal that most of us need more sleep, and of course that's particularly true if you have a baby who doesn't sleep through the night. Pregnancy takes a lot out of your body, and then the pressure of caring for a new member of the family can be draining.

Don't Rush Into It

Let your body recover after childbirth before you start any weight loss program. Most women need six to eight weeks and then they can ease gently into a weight loss plan.

Be gentle on yourself and don't worry if it's taking longer that you'd like, that's alright and anyway, time flies.

If at all possible, get one of your support group to babysit 3 times a week while you get 8 hours sleep. If you're a light sleeper, you may need to use ear plugs.

A good stretch of restful sleep will benefit your mind, body and mood. If you are breastfeeding, you might want to express some milk so the person keeping an eye on baby can do the feeding without waking you.

It will take longer for breastfeeding mothers before they can expect a good night's sleep to be a way of life. The best you can do is grab a nap whenever you can, and console yourself with the knowledge that your baby will be stronger and healthier because of your sacrifice and very soon the two of you will be sleeping through the night.

Okay now, off you go. Plan Your Work and Work Your Plan.

The best of luck to you and take very good care ..

McGarrett

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Why men cheat, the most common reason

It's a sad fact that many men cheat on their spouses. It is estimated that 1 in 3 men have or will cheat on their wives, that number climbs to 1 in 5 for unmarried men cheating on their girlfriends.
There are several reasons for men cheating on there wives or significant other.

Most women think that the reason for their man's infidelity, is a lust for a more attractive, slimmer, younger, sexier woman. They are partially right, men do lust other women, (as do women lust other men). That's one of the 7 deadly sins and it's been going on since the beginning of time, and will continue until the end of time.

But lust is usually not the common reason for men cheating on their significant other.
The lack of attention and admiration at home is the most common reason for a man's infidelity.
Men CRAVE attention and admiration. When a man does not feel admired at home, his resistance to lust become's weak.

Men do not pursue other women to intentionally cheat on their spouse. But if a man is not getting the attention and admiration he craves for his spouse, he is more aware of any attention that another woman is showing him. The more attention this other woman shows him, the more receptive he is to it, until finally his resistance to lust is overwhelmed by his need for attention and admiration.

When a man feels admiration from his spouse, and is getting the attention he craves. He does not want to lose that love, admiration, attention, and trust. So he becomes immune to his lustful thoughts. He is still going to have lustful thoughts, but if he is getting the love, admiration, attention, and trust he craves at home. He will keep his lustful thoughts in check elsewhere.

Monogamy is crucial for a healthy, happy, and lasting relationship. And this article is not to condole infidelity for any reason. In most cases though, a man cheating on his significant other, can usually be prevented simply by showing your man how much you admire and adore him. Make him feel needed, and appreciated. Brag about his accomplishments, don't leave the door open for someone else to show him the attention that he want's from you.

Attention and admiration is what your man craves from you. show him that he has it from you, and he won't feel the need to get it elsewhere.

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So You Want to Date Asian Women - Dating in Demand

This article is entitled "SO YOU WANT TO DATE AN ASIAN GIRL ?"

Why have I written this article you might ask ?

Well I've dated many different women from many different cultures (Asian,
Latina, African American, Caucasian American, Caucasian-European) and
let me tell you there are some major differences between the culture
you're used to and a different female from a different culture.

First off this isn't about race. Lets get that cleared up. That's a entirely
different topic that usually deals with a society thing and how they
see dating interracially. This is just about cultural differences
and what a female specifically from the ASIAN culture will expect once
you're dating. I've dated many types of Asian women so I have this down
to a science.

Secondly don't look at anything I say in this article as a slam on Asians,
nor Asian women. Every culture has their beauty but they also have
their ugly side. If you're not in their culture it's Taboo to talk about
it openly without someone saying you're putting them down. That's to be
expected. Just please take this as helpful information you can use as a guide
if you descide or are currently dating a Asian woman.

Just like with any culture there are misconceptions based on what a person
may see on TV or the movies. A person may think all Latin women have nice booties
or can salsa dance, or African American women can cook really good and have nice booties too,
and Asian women are quite, shy, and submissive to men. Well we're here to talk about Asian women
so let's dispell the myth. 95% of Asian women aren't shy, quite, nor submissive !
They're actually HUGELY A STARK cONTRAST from this ! This is where things get a little on the
Taboo side. Most men that has had a long term relationship with Asian woman will tell you
they're actually quite bossy, materialistic, and mean. WHOA huh ! Sorry to burst your bubble
fellas, but this is the truth, and it's not a race thing it's a cultural thing. Huh ?

Let me explain. Asian culture is known to be a culture with little hugs, and warm compliments.
That is for the kids growing up in this culture. I know you're thinking "but that old Asian
lady at work is so nice". I'm sure she is, but this is also the face that we all show in public
(our best one). Think about this. Have you ever heard a old Asian lady make a funny but rude
comment about something or someone ? Like "why you cut your hair like that, it's ugly?" "Or,
your fat, you need to lose weight". It seems funny at the time but this is how they speak to their
kids, and other family members when thier home. It's common place. There is harsh criticsm or little
in the way of compliments. Lets say a young lady in this enviorment cleans the house for her mother
instead of saying thank you the mother might rass her and criticize her about the job done, even if the
house is spotless ! Well guess what when she gets into a relationship after the honeymoon phase
is done she will be repeating this kind of behavior on her man, and potetionally her future kids.

It's a cycle.

Many Asian families are tight-knit. However, the way the interact with each other is with
criticism instead of compliments. Parents rarely hug their children, instead they complain at
them. Now I'm not saying these families aren't loving, In their own way they are, but this common
place with Asian homes (example - "you think this house is clean, i still see dirt everywhere").

This goes hand and hand with BOSSY. Most Asian parents with be to a degree Bossy with their
kids which pruduces women that are BOSSY with thier boyfriends, and Husbands.

I thought Asian women were submissive to thier men ? Submissive ? Asian women
have their role in Asian culture, but it's not what most men think it is. It's usually a role
of dominance and control. first off look at old Asian culture. Some Asian Cultures have had
women leaders for long periods of time. If they were submissive and had this male dominated
society how could this be the case ? Well, I'm telling you it's not the case.

In most Asian homes it's not only the kids that deal with criticism but it's also the husband.
He didn't do enough yard work, or didn't give her enough money for shopping needs,
or doesn't work hard enough at his job, or didn't complete a project fast or good enough for her,
or didn't fill up the minivan with gas, or , or, or, or. You might say American women complain
too. Yes, they sure do, but let me assure you this is to a new level. In this culture nothing
this husband can do will be right. Their are no thank yous, just "but you didn't do this".

Most older Asian men fade into the backgrownd why their wives run the show. Most drink hard, and
smoke alot as a result. The wives tend to be shuffling around doing something and complaining
about something that wasn't done right while the husband sleeps in a easy chair (after a few drinks).
Most Asian men growing up in this cultural see it and accept it as it's all they know. Most women
repeat the patterns of their mother. The problem comes in when Johnny white boy meets a Asian girl at work,
at the park, on the internet, or at the niteclub. He sees this beautiful exotic female, and her
nice shy way and thinks "wow, I'm lucking out here". Then after 9 months of dating her and her
being super nice something happens. It's what I like the call "THE EVENT". "THE EVENT" is first the time
her real personality comes out. It's usually over something really, really small. You
might spill a drink. You might be 5 minutes late picking he up somewhere. You might forget to open
up the car door for her, or you might turn down a invite to one of the many Asian family parties
you've gone to. These small things are the triggers to make "THE EVENT" happen. What happens though ?
Well let's put it this way buckle up my friend and get ready for the most scarest ride of your life! This once nice shy, peaceful, submissive woman will turn 180 degrees on you. First off I've met many
men over the years that have had these things happen to them during "THE EVENT". Soda cans thrown
at them, slapped, yelled at, mean hurtful things said, furniture thrown (chairs, etc). An you're thinking
"I was just five minutes late". Or "I've been to 20 parties and I'm just saying no to this one
because I'm tired, what's going on here ?" Whatever the situation is this doesn't warrant this
kind of behavior on her part.

The problem is this is now the tip of the iceburg. Chances are at some point she might apologize,
but a month later this behavior will rear it's ugly head again. As time goes on the apologies
will get less, and the behavior more prevelant. Some may be more violent. Some may be less viloent
and more wordy, meaning they will criticize everything you do or don't do. This constant behavior
usually will happen when the relationship has been going a while. It builds up til this is all it
is. Before you know it that submissive, nice, shy person is gone. All you're stuck with now
is a woman, that's bossy, shows little love, criticizes everthing you do, is never satisfied,
and has total control over your relationship. Here's the funny thing too, everything she yells
at you about she will hypocritically do herself ! HUH ? Yes, if she spills a drink it's no big deal,
if you do it you will be criticized to the 10 degree ! Why is all of this happening ? Well this is
how she was raised. Chances are this is how her mother talked to her and her father, and
how she interacted with her syblings. This is how she was taught to have relationships. Remember most
people put on their best faces. I'm mean to a degree they know it's wrong, but it's the only
way they know how to live. So around strangers, or acquointances they're the super nice helpful
Asian girl, but at home they rule the house plain and simple. Asian women run the show at home
bottom line !

This is a fact men really need to know. Don't date Asian woman thinking all of the wrong things.
Like she is submissive, quite, etc, etc. If you do you will get taken for a ride. The thing to
do is know they were raised under different circumstances then you and keep your eyes and ears
open to see if something's wrong before proceeding further. This is about maximing
your dating so you don't waist your time with someone that won't be any good for your life. If something
isn't right leave and move on instead of trying to work with a girl like this and her problems.
You can't change a person's culture. If a Asian woman is acting this way to you chances are this
is how her family has been for generations. Don't try to change it. If "THE EVENT" happens RUN !
If it never does then you might have a cool Asian female on your hands.

This is where I want to reinterate. I'm not slamming Asian women. This is just pointing out a few
unfortunate truths about the culture. For the record their sense of family is tremendous,
and I think if some other cultures had that sense of family they would be more successful
in the world. The problem in Asian culture is the way they interact with each other as a family.

Just to give you an unbiased example. You may have heard some women say "oh I don't date a man from
Africa, Middle East, or Morroco." Even some African-American women say this. Why ? Because,
those cultures tend to have harsh treatment towards women, and have an extremely dominant role for
the man. Again like the women above they will be charming and loving until "THE EVENT" happens,
fallowed by sorries, and time elapsed. Then BAM it will happen again, til the time bewtween these
episodes are shorter, and the sorries are fewer. Are all men like this from these countries. No,
but enough to be at least cautious. Culture is a very strong thing. If a culture is very male
dominated with harsh treatment to the women, and a woman outside the culture is dating a man from this
culture she should be at least aware so she can keep her eyes open for behavior that isn't right.

This the same for men dealing with Asian women. Know their culture is different. Know there are
somethings that are harsh towards men. Be informed and stay alert, and watch for behavior that
isn't right.

Materialistic ?

Next myth is Asian women aren't marterialistic. What a lot of people don't know unless they've spend
lot of time with Asians as the boyfriend of one of these these young ladies is there's a large
competition factor between Asians, and from one family to the next. Who can provide the better car
for their kid, clothes for their kid, party thrown, Etc. Even for those that don't have a lot of
money this competition still exist. This usually doesn't rear it's head til somewhere down the line
in the relationship. There might be a argument here and there about money, then before you know it
nothing financially you do will be right. You're now being criticized like the above. Don't date
a Asian woman thinking "oh they're less martialistic and expect less then American women. WRONG !

One thing that strikes me is those that like to send money back home (to the Philipines, or Thailand,
etc). I've met girls where their parents were dirt poor but expected everyone
to chip in and send money to their home coutries to a relative that was doing well fiancially
at least as far as their country was concerned ! Here I am looking at pictures of this relative's
custom built home in thier country, and provided the knowledge they have a great job there and do
well financially. Then I see everyone chipping in money to send to this person. I'm like "what the
heck?". I was then told by my girlfriend "over there they see America as being
so rich, and they expect us to send them money". "So, you're parents that wait tables, and are janitors
are expected to send money home to a relative that has a nice house, and good job?" I'm then told angrily
"that's just how things are !" Again my friend don't try to change cultural.

I've also seen the opposite where the family member over in their home country doesn't have a lot
of money but gambles alot, but yet everyone feels bad and chips in to send him or her money !

Or it's family members no one knows that well but they call or write asking for money so everyone
chips in. FYI most of the people in this culture that ask for money usually are the irrisponsible
ones. The ones that don't ask for money are the prideful ones and are usually responsible and reourceful,
their only problem is giving to those that are irrisponsible. It's cycle. If you're with such a responsible
and resourceful woman be prepared to blindly give or get yelled at !

This also rears it's head in her local family. If she has lots of sisters and brothers expect a couple of them
to be hugely irrisponsible. Guess what ? Yup your woman is piching in to give money. Usually not to the
sybling but to their parents, which the parents then in turn gives it to their irrisponsible kid of
their's when they need it. If you don't give you get yelled at ! I've used the stance that I didn't mind
helping her parents (I know stupid huh), but I know that your parents give in every time your sister
needs money. So, if I give it will just end up in your sister's hands." Guess what ? No change. Still
get yelled at. This is just the culture.

So what if this Asian woman seems to be more Americanized (no accent, not into the food, etc)?
Still keep your eyes open for this behavior. Chances are she was still raised this way in America.
Meaning her parents are like the above, but she grew up in the US her entire life so she has no
accent. Meaning the same negative behavior could easily happen if this is how she was raised.

faithfulness ? Well in any culture that has mistreatment of either be the man or woman faithfulness
goes down. Just like the example above where the guys from African and Middle Eastern countries have
a rep for dominating to their women. Well when this happens these guys tend to see this woman as a
object not a person. When that happens her worth goes down in his eyes. This is why they also have
the rep for womanizing. Well this is the samething that happens in Asian culture why most of these
women that showed these behaviors were cheating as well. I mean if they are throwing things at you,
yelling at you, making bizzare financial requests of you do you really think you're the apple of her
eye ? No you're not. You worth goes down. Once that happens it's easy to cheat on you. You're not
a person you're a possession. Plus you've excepted the crappy treatment above and have taken the
apologies why won't you take cheating ?. It's a progession in poor treatment. It worsens to the point
where cheating usually happens. This is a common thread in any culture if someone treats you badly,
it's not a far strech for them to cheat. Well it just so happens that in Asian culture it's common
for the woman to control the guy and treat him poorly, so you can guess the rest. The thing to keep
in mind once you've reached this status in your relationship with such a woman she isn't concerned
of losing you (no matter what she says) because she knows that she can meet another guy just as easy
as she met you !

Please don't juge a book by its cover. Meaning, you go to her home, meet her parents and everyone
is so nice. That doesn't mean they didn't have the above behavior in their home, it just means
you're a guest and their being nice to you. It also means don't go in their thinking you're not
going to give this female and her family a chance based on this article. You just want to keep you're
eyes peeled and witts about you. Everyone deserves a chance.

so where did this submissive Asian woman thing start ? Well truthfully it's a Japanese thing
and some people are to ignorant to know Japanese isn't the samething as Korean, Chinese,
Thai, Filipino, etc. Japan does have a class system in their speech to each other.
It's still a harsh culture meaning not as many hugs, and little praise, but the women are taught
to speak a certain way that shows their a lady and not agressive. It's a culture with rather polite
speech in general, and as a society Japanese are fairly polite. Has this changed a bit since
the modernization of Japan. Sure, but there still is a difference in household roles for men and
women in this culture. Most people I hear that have bad Asian girlfriend stories are rarely
Japanese. Mostly they're Filipino, Thai, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Korean, and Chinese.
The one that gets the rep of being the most physically abusive and violent are Korean women oddly
enough.

So why date Asian women in the first place ? Well for the same reason why you date anyone,attraction,
and the hope they might be nice. If "THE EVENT" never happens. You aren't getting yelled at on
regular basis because of dumb things, she isn't making weird financial request of you, you're chances
of having a good Asian woman increases ! The reason for this article is for you to maximize
you're time. If you see poor behavior you've been forewarnd ! GET OUT ! RUN DON'T WALK. DoN'T TRY TO
FIGURE IT OR HER OUT ! If that behavior never appears then you have a "potentionally" good girl
which is why I still will give Asian women a shot. I'm just a lot more careful since I know a lot
now after several expiriences !

Soon I will submit a article about MAIL ORDER BRIDES AND THE SCAMS TO WATCH OUT FOR !

Also for upping your dating skills for you single guys check out this site !

Www.datingindemand.com

Thanks all and happy dating !

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